Thoughtful Oblivion

Full Stop...

2009-02-19T15:01:00.001+11:00

The story went on for quite sometime, though not long enough. I have reached a point where I have to put a full-stop to my online rant. There are too many things going on and some priorities are superceeding the current ones.
If I come back, the story will continue. Or else, this will be the end!
Till then, adieu!
I did make some great friends here and hope to remain in touch through your blogs!
Have a beautiful life and make the most of it because not everyone is as lucky as you!

;-))

Taking a break...

2009-01-19T17:15:00.004+11:00

Some more things have cropped up which will definitively prevent me from blogging. I will be back in Feb with some more things to share. In the meanwhile, I will keep visiting your blogs.

Have a great week and take care!!!

;-))

100th Post...

2009-01-12T13:06:00.003+11:00

Yay!! Made it through till here with all the rambling I could have possibly done! Let me not get carried away by this number. Rather, let me share some thoughts that's been making noise in my head for quite a while.

You must be well versed with the notion of "world peace" and its harbingers. I think it is just a dead end to whoever thinks it can be achieved. The notion of world peace is just a facade to keep some people busy with their work. Once in a while we can all say that it is a milestone that will be achieved someday. I feel that day will be the end of the world; that is the best way for world peace.

Why?

For centuries, human beings have not been able to co-exist with each other. They always fight for anything and everything. They are never satisfied of what they have and they can never be sure of what they want. Their ideologies will always clash and every day a new one will come up with an imminent threat to those who thinks otherwise.

Animals co-exist in a much better way. They keep to their share of food and water. Once their stomach is full they walk on. If they were like human beings, one of them will brainwash a few and make a group. Then they will take over all the natural resources. When that gets over, they will invade the next region and destroy everything there. When everything is over, they will fight among themselves so that one who survives can die the miserable death in its lone existence.

We crucify those who want to change the world and later worship them for centuries. Are we dumb? or Are we so ignorant in our deeds?

Thousands of years have gone by. We have destroyed many parts of the world in our search for balance and harmony. We have eradicated species that can never be re-created. We have dug our graves in our own backyards while we still sit in the front porch with a placard that says, "Welcome World Peace".

I dedicate this post to all those who are still putting their efforts to achieve this impossible task. Hope someday I can look back and say to myself, "You fool, you have been so wrong!"

Have a great week!!!

;-))

A New Beginning...

2009-01-06T13:57:00.002+11:00

It is already the first week of the first month of a brand new year. This is the time when one feels the weight of the new year resolutions. By the second week, it is unmanageable. Between the third and the fourth week a bout of contemplation breaks most of the promises. Guess that is the beginning of an end.

So how did you all spend your new year's eve?

Apart from parties and fireworks, there is nothing much significant to new year's eve.

I went on a beautiful trek down to some pristine beaches. It was white sand and blue water all the way. I spent a quiet new year's eve after a tiring day. In fact, I was asleep at midnight!!! But I did catch up on all fireworks across the world; its incredible to millions being blown away in beautiful colors!

And on 1st of Jan, I went for another adventure to see some more places. It was a short walk but worth the fun and sweat.

That's a wee bit from my side for now!

Hope the days ahead brings happiness and fulfills your dreams.

Take care

;-))

Wishes...

2008-12-24T09:10:00.002+11:00

It is that time of the year when we look back, retrospect, look ahead and anticipate. But there is one thing we never forget to do; wish and hope for one another.

Here's wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Hope the days ahead are filled with joy and satisfaction.

Will be back next year!!!

Till then, keep the faith!!!

;-))

Oh my gawd...

2008-12-15T08:03:00.000+11:00

It is boring to wait for something to happen. Just then, two girls came and sat beside me. They were more interested in themselves than this single guy waiting for his turn. There was no need for me to talk as they seemed to have more than enough in their plates. The one nearer to me was Jane and the other was Suzy. This is how it happened:

Jane: Hey I have to tell you something very important.
Suzy: Oh my god, something happened? Tell me, tell me, tell me...
Jane: Nothing happened dear. There is this guy in my class...
Suzy: Oh my god, you have a crush on someone finally? Tell me, tell me, tell me...
Jane: No it is not a crush. But, yeah he is kind of cute...
Suzy: Oh my god, he is cute. What does he look like? Tell me, tell me, tell me...
Jane: He is tall, dark hair, athletic with blue eyes. No, but that is not the point...
Suzy: Oh my god, he sounds so hot. What's his name? Tell me, tell me, tell me...
Jane: I don't know. The other day when I was in the library, I saw him...
Suzy: Oh my god, you met him in the library. Did you talk to him? Did you ask him his number? Did you kiss him? Tell me, tell me, tell me...
Jane: No, he didn't kiss me. He was kissing Joshua.
Suzy: What???

And then my turn just came.

Have a great week ahead!!!

;-))

A small answer...

2008-12-08T15:26:00.000+11:00

The other day I met the big guy when I was going through an ordeal. It was time I asked him one question.

"Why me? Why do I have to go through all this? There are others who are pure evil and everyday they do all sorts of things to harm others. How come they never have to go through any ordeal? How come they are always happy and successful?

He looked at me in the eye and gave me a smile. I presume he was anticipating this question from me.

He said, "I don't care about them. Therefore I don't wish to correct their mistakes."

I guess that answered everything. Suddenly, the ordeal seemed like a learning. Indeed, it was!

;-))

Resume of a Politician...

2008-12-02T08:27:00.000+11:00

Name: Mast Desi

Age: 40+

Qualification: None

Experience:
1. Campaigned for the party's election agenda. Toured in regional areas and overseas to spread the agenda. Met many locals and foreigners to listen to their problems.
2. Took part in demonstrating against the ruling party's policies. Ensured that every strike was effective. Personally beat up those who refused to close their shops.
3. Engaged in a few regional scams to make personal benefits. Forged records and falsified audit reports to ensure that the money laundering was never traceable. Those involved in the investigation were eliminated.
4. Supported the party leader's visions and deeds. Took the initiative of killing those who were against him and those who wanted to frame him.
5. Was part of the robbery gang operating on highway 11. Executed multiple robberies, heists, murders and kidnapping to build a sustainable career in politics.

Skill set:
1. Leadership skills: I can motivate people to support my cause. Those who do not get motivated are expendable. I can set visions for a future that serves the best interests of what I see.
2. Communication skills: I am good at oration. I can speak at will about anything. If one cannot understand my words, I can change the ears of the listener.
3. Financial skills: I know the number game very well now. I am good at managing finances. I love finances.
4. Presentation skills: I can present anything that will be convincing. Since the first kidnapping I staged back in the 70s, I have cultivated the art of limiting options.
5. Team player: I am good with those who are good with me. I can make any team to work for me.
6. Finger pointing skills: I can show you who is responsible for all the mess that happens. I can convince you with a majority that it is your crap.
7. Resignation skills: It is as easy as a pie to resign when things go wrong or is out of control. By the way, I use my thumb; so even easier.

Interests/Hobbies/Awards:
1. I was awarded the best politician of last year for not doing anything.
2. I was interviewed by all the newspapers last year for my 40th birthday.
3. I love traveling abroad to learn how those countries operate. I am a slow learner so the trips are longer than expected.
4. I love collecting properties. Every member of my family has at least two houses, two cars, two acres of land and two Swiss bank accounts. Specifically two, because it is my lucky number.
5. I am the president of the ARSE (Association of Robbers Sympathy & Empathy). It is a club of ex-robbers.

;-))

On a break...

2008-11-21T19:12:00.001+11:00

I am out of town and really short of time to blog.

But, I will be back with more news from my side.

Keep checking in!!!

Have a great weekend.

;-))

Whew!!!

2008-11-11T13:45:00.000+11:00

After two weeks of mindful reading and 12 hours of mindless writing, freedom cannot be more sweeter. Finally, I can rightfully say, "Stick a fork in me, honey, 'coz, I am done!!!". Don't use the word "results" becoz currently, my dictionary doesn't recognise it anyways!!!

Thank you so much for all your wishes and encouraging tips!! And it was ever so refreshing to read all your blogs. Taking a break in between couldn't be better!!!

Not to mention, a historic milestone was etched last week with Obama taking a landslide victory in the American election. It felt good to be a part of this moment. Someday, we will all look back and tell this story to many future generations with our toothless mouths (yeah, if you survive till then you will be way too old and you won't have any teeth for sure!!!).

In fact, one of the biggest learning for me in these few days has been that there is hope. A hope for the future. A hope for things to become better. Everytime we shrug off our confidences, that glimmering hope remains. One thread always hangs by it. Being humans, we can never relinquish our hopes. Strengthen your hopes and you will see miracles happening. Don't believe in what I say, do it and believe in yourself!!!

"I have a dream" (Martin Luther King Jr., 1963).

Have a great week!!!

;-))

CLOSED: Man at work...

2008-10-21T18:47:00.000+11:00

That time of the year when I have to gather my notes, collate every information and make some sense out of it all. Because it is exam time and I have to pass in every subject. Sheesh!!!

So, I will be out for a while to do a wee bit of studying for a few weeks!!!

However, I will be checking out your blogs during my in between breaks. Keep writing interesting stuff so I can still breath while I burn the midnight lamps for a while!!!

;-))

Open World...

2008-10-13T08:47:00.000+11:00

Continuing on my last post regarding "New Age Relationships", I want to bring a new concept that seems to be creating waves in many societies. Even traditional societies are experiencing the reverberation of certain western ideologies.

I have heard of open source, open book, open air and even open back! But I have never been so sure about the lunacy of the concept called "open marriage". For the uninitiated, it is a lame notion of your partner engaging in extramarital relationship with your consent. I don't know why it is called "extramarital" when it is done with "consent". And yes, it can go to any level - sexual, physical, emotional. It also goes by the name "polyamory" which leads to something called "open relationship". Wow??

I think its a fantastic addition to the whole notion of outsourcing. Now, you can do that in a relationship. Here you are, all married and stuck with one partner for the rest of your life. And then one fine day, you realize you can get better fulfillment of your needs/wants/desires from a third party. Walla! The answer is open relationship! Suddenly, your varied needs are satisfied by varied individuals. There is someone to look after your kinky fantasies. There is someone to support your emotional roller coaster rides. There is someone to support your materialistic dreams. Kill that goose that said bachelorhood is dead after marriage!!!

So what does your partner do? Oh well, balance the scale and you will get the idea!!! By the way, you can't be selfish because it is based on mutual agreement and understanding!!!

Hats off to someone who can really carry on such an understanding.

Anyways, I am nobody to judge someone who engages in such a relationship. It is a personal choice and so be it that way. If it makes one happy and feels contended, which I bet one would, then it is all very good!!!

;-))

New Age Relationships...

2008-10-05T20:05:00.000+11:00

Gone are the days when relationships used to be the essence of life. It is a grandfather-ish feeling when I say that, although much of it is true in a broad sense in today's world.

There was a time when meeting someone used to be a special event. You cherish the moment and long to the next meet. Then a bond builds up which forms the basis of a long term sustainable relationship. Put that in today's context and it sums up to... Yawn!!! What??

Now a days relationships are a three step process:

Step1: Bump - you meet someone by coincidence or accident. It may be love at first sight or a burning loin somewhere! Whichever way you look, there is a chemistry that is somehow brought into the picture.

Step2: Hump - From the first date to the first night is a breeze. Some say that it is the best way to know someone!! I guess it provides an intimate evaluation of where one stands to take this to the next level or maybe the next step!

Step3: Dump - The chemistry is all wrong. Somehow the realization of no connection, incompatibility or even "you are not the one" quotient becomes clear. So it is a sweet, no-hard-feeling bye-bye time! Till we meet again, if in time of need or in another situation, it was good knowing each other.

I feel this philosophy of Bump-Hump-Dump works very well now a days. So what if it did not last? Atleast you met someone. The burning loin was put off for a while. And no attachments or hard feelings!

Ain't life simple???

Have a good week!!

;-))

I have eyes...

2008-09-28T17:24:00.000+10:00

The gift of vision is a perfect misuse by many whose upper compartment is either empty or messed up beyond repair. I agree they have the right to look at anything or anyone they wish. But ogling at someone to an extent that, presumably,a third rate movie appears to be running upstairs is certainly not acceptable.

The other day I was in a train and this chap got in. One look and you would think he is an innocent guy. But once he started looking around for his prey, the impression changed in an instant. He fixed his gaze on a lady who was seated a few seats behind him. And then began a ten minute long process of ogling. He was literally "feeling her" with his eyes! As though, she would just jump into his arms and make his fantasy come true. He was a disgrace to the little manhood he was carrying. Even before getting off, he gave her a long "opportunistic" stare. It just didn't work! Certainly, if that is the approach to get ladies into your pants, it will never ever work. Then again, for people like them I guess it is never about getting the ladies; it is all about looking at the ladies.

There is nothing wrong in an occasional glance. Everyone does a "checking out" routine now and then. Oh come on!! Don't shake your head and say "I don't do!!" If you don't, there is something seriously wrong with you. On the other hand, if you do like how that chap did, then everything is wrong with you!! See a psychiatrist and fix that messed up brain!!!

Seriously, if you see someone interesting; carry the guts to go and speak with that person. Otherwise speak with your eyes, if you have the ability. But don't stare all over as though you are searching for something and disgrace yourself!!!

Have a good week!

;-))

What did you say...

2008-09-14T18:36:00.000+10:00

I could never understand why some people, whose English is barely understandable, go west and come back with an accent is out of this world. Not to mention, some of those aspiring ones who already seem to be born with an accent. Speak up, I can barely understand a word you say dude!

I remember going to a pizza place near my house one evening. A wanna-be-dude came to take my order and he said, "blah blah blah blah baaaaa (Americanized local english). My blood just went off my head. I told him, "Listen mr. america. I would really appreciate if you can speak up in a normal language which can be understood because I have come here to eat and trust me you don't want to see me walking out of here with an empty stomach". He got the point and switched back conveniently to words which were so easy to understand. Is it that difficult?

A few people I remember were very excited on getting an offer to go west to work or extend their studies. Somehow, the day their visa got stamped, they became a different set of people. Black shades, a baseball cap, a I Love NY t-shirt and an accented english. Oh, you look horrible in that. Take it off please. And they would reply, "Why man! This is not so lame after all. Chill it buds". Whoa!! What was all that??

The funny part is when you listen to them closely. In between sentences, they will be fumbling for the right word and the right sound of it. Almost all the time, it is a failure. Then it is a mix of accents and then you get confused and then you look at that individual and then you think of a word that fits him and then it would sound "Moron"!

So! Whats up with the accent dude? Going west or came from west?

;-))

Spring is here...

2008-09-06T11:14:00.000+10:00

A set of new leaves on a dried up pear tree
An overactive bunch of birds
A cloth line filled with short skirts
A nude old lady gardening at mid noon
A canoodling couple at the oval

Indeed, spring is here right on my face!!!

;-))

Breakup lines...

2008-09-01T19:28:00.000+10:00

I was thinking on what lines people use to break up. Not that I encourage such a thing as it is good for a few and bad for many. I came across a few from some people I have known.

"You are the best and you deserve the best". That is complementing and contradicting. It means you suck and you deserve someone who sucks! (not literally).
"I have known you as a wonderful person, but I want to move on". Thank you very much for everything. How much do I pay?
"After all this time, I think there is no spark". Yep! After being used so much there will be no spark left.
"I know what I need and I know it is not you". Hope you burn in hell, you female version of a dog!
"I love you but not in that way". Ew!! Don't even mention it please!
"I liked you all the way but somewhere things changed". Did you sneak into my dirty linen collection or did you just find out I am broke!!!
"This will not work out". Really? If it took this much for you to realize, then you are dumb!!!

And the most famous one of all...
"There is someone else". Oh! I hate threesome!

Share with me some which you have come across!

;-))

Please help yourself...

2008-08-24T17:24:00.000+10:00

The workroom was always closed when he was inside. His craftsmanship was being put to the utmost test. Everyone around knew he was making the best of his creations; the one of its kind to bring harmony and control into a world that is so diverse. Or that was the intent, but that is another story.

The creation was completed and the package was delivered. Everything went as predicted. But the beauty of the creation was that it had to become unpredictable and so it did happen. Someone pulled on the panic button and everything looked hazy, confusing and lost. There was no solution from the sky.

He saw the chaos and sought his guide book for a solution. Every problem of what he created had a solution. It was on the sixth page. There was just one sentence. It read "Please Help Yourself".

He smiled. All is not in vain!

;-))

Jack's Longest Wait...

2008-08-14T10:49:00.000+10:00

"You put the stuff in here and then wait till you see the results here", said Jill.
"How long is the wait for”, asked Jack.
"It says here around 5 min", said Jill.
"Ok let’s make those 8 min, just to be sure", said Jack. As though adding a magical three min more would make things surer

Jack and Jill went up the hill and came down tumbling together. The well known notion of "mistakes do happen" was running around in Jack's head more than Jill. Jack was learning the intricacies of being in a relationship. It was too early for Jack to have someone call him with respect and dignity. On his insistence, Jill agreed to be put on to the test. She prepared the little instrument with her metabolized wastes to suspect for any clues. Jack agreed to stare at it for supposedly eight minutes to judge his future!

It was the longest eight minutes when Jack raced through a collage of questions and possibilities.

Will the instrument look back at Jack and say, “Congrats Jack! You are going to get a bundle of joy very soon!!”

Jack thought:

“Maybe I should have tumbled down the hill with John. Eh? That would have avoided this situation but made the whole thing look so ‘gay’!”

“Maybe Jack should have used double-protection! “ Does anything like that exist?

“Maybe I should have been a smoker. Nicotine makes those bloody tadpoles to be less efficient than Olympic swimmers!”

“Maybe science should make these tadpoles more controlled. Have some sort of voice commands – stay, go, terminate!” Some inputs for the Human genome project!

“Maybe Jill is seeing someone else, and then I can send him a father’s day card! Not funny!”

"Maybe next time no tumbling down the hill, just walk down! Doesn't work that way!!!"

Eight minutes up!

Two bands or one band! Will Jack be working double time to buy nappies or be drinking beer tonight to watch the big game?

One band! Jack survived! He thew his hands up and ran to grab his phone to ring his friend. He saw Jill sleeping in the next room. He stood there for a minute and thought, “Even if it was two bands today, I would have still loved her the same!!!”

;-))

History of Ass - 2

2008-08-01T21:30:00.000+10:00

Been quite busy lately and hence the delay in this post.

The ramification of the whistle and slap is what ass has become today. It is no longer just an ass. It has become an expression, a representation, more than a bottom line!

Ass is become even more colloquial now. Didn’t you once say?

“I worked my ass today!”

“You are such a pain in the ass!”

“Go home ass****”. (Let’s not digress into another topic here!)

Ass has become a representation for many visually challenging situations. The walk has the essence driven by the ass. Imagine yourself walking without an ass. When that beauty pageant is walking back, don’t tell me you are admiring her hair or the ramp or the sky! Not to mention the ass when you bend. Oh what a view! Who would be interested if you bend and the behind looks like mathematical straight line. Unless of course, you love al-zebra!

People have evolved to take advantage of their ass. The rich ones have gone to the extent of injecting chemicals into it to make it more visually attractive. Why? Ask them! Some have even insured them against God knows what. Some tattoo on them to pass on some message. Maybe not a good idea! And then there are those who display them vehemently on highways to express their freedom!

Whichever you look, there are asses looking back at you! So don’t worry, you are not alone after all in this world!! If the person turns the back on you, look at the bright side of life.

So, just don’t sit on your ass. They are more than lobes of cushion to comfort you. Get up! Pat them and say, “Well done!! Thank you!!”

;-))

History of Ass - I

2008-07-19T20:17:00.000+10:00

Ass? No its not the donkey kind of thing that's been put here. This is the rear attraction which has captivated audiences all over the world. You are not a part of this? Come on! Seriously? I reckon you are underage to understand this context or you should make a psychiatric consultation before it is too late.

Here goes the first of the two part series. Yes, two and not three. Trilogies are sometimes too boring and long and besides this is a better way to complement those two special cheeks which have always been misunderstood and ignored!!!

Thousands of years ago, after crossing the evolution or creation's barrier, all through those times of discoveries and accidents, the ass was always there. Behind all of them. Loyal. Stuck for life. And waiting to be recognized. I am not quite sure on how the first ass was discovered but here's an account of what might have possibly happened. All characters in this reconstruction are fictional, no insults to anyone's greatest grandfathers.

Three pre-historic men were walking through a dense forest in search of food for their families. They probably had finished one of their two meals for the day and one of them had been a little too greedy in eating more than usual.

Man-1: baba bubu bii bkk (i hope we find something soon!)
Man-2: huas ba kaa tu pai nu (i want to go back and throw some stones!)
Man-3: paa ju sal ki (i want to make dudu)
Man-1: da gus aa kak (next time eat less)
Man-2: gau ku sw ji mai (what is wrong with you?)

And then it happened. A wind of change came out of nowhere. The men stood stunned. They never heard that sound before.
Man-1: ka os tu (what was that?)
Man-2: ei mun su kaja (it came from his back) [pointing to the third man's rear)
Man-3: mus aie bae? wa kuk bi nai mi (what is it? Is it some animal?)
Man-1: lau ku hunu kach (hold on. let me have a look)

And then the two men looked at the third one's rear. It was then at that moment, the first ass was looked upon, stared, discovered! The sunlight and the moisture could not have been more perfect in timing.
Man-1: wai (wow!)
Man-2: ji (yuck!)
Man-3: ba (what?)

Strange but true and ironical. The first ass was admired but also hated. The three men went back and shared their discovery with others. Asses were finally recognized in the community.

Things changed after that day!

Some-man1: huch ma sus bui (look at that ass!)
Some-man2: Tweet! Tweet! (tweet! tweet!)
Some-woman: (slap!!)

---- to be continued ----

Flood gates opening soon...

2008-07-07T09:24:00.000+10:00

The generals have got their commands. Their instructions are concealed in the utmost secrecy. There is no word of what they plan to do or how they plan to do. The chillness of their silence can be felt on every heart that is looking at them from below. The attack is inevitable now!! There is no looking back. It is too late to go back.

It is a matter of hours before the gates open and the clash begins. Words will be hurled all over. Pages will fly through time to capture every moment. And they will be remembered sometime in the future when the moment needs them most. Some of the slashes will remain in memory for long while others will never be even noticed. The anticipation of every step will just help everyone to keep moving, bracing every attack!!!

What???

My classes are beginning next monday!! Its back to books and lectures!! Damn!! Dunno, where all the time just vanished off!!

Anyways, I will still be around!!

Have a nice weekend and take care!!

;-))

Life...

2008-06-29T10:02:00.000+10:00

An old hermit once said in the woods, "Life is a beautiful journey which one embarks when they come into this world. There is knowledge on every step you take".

That was after he had lured many with promises.
That was after he mesmerized them with his intentions.
That was after he was satisfied from their reverberations.

A few years later the hermit was shot dead by a hunter. Apparently, the hunter was also lured and mesmerized. But the hunter had strong belief to break free from the hermit's clutches! The hunter proclaimed the false words of the hermit. The hermit's words were forgotten.

Life moved on, with a strange irony. What the hermit said was right. What the hunter did was right. What the hermit did was wrong. What the hunter said was wrong.

;-))

Stick a fork in me honey, I am done!!!

2008-06-21T18:58:00.000+10:00

Oh yeah!!! for the time being and just two weeks of interim, I am on a break. No, not from any relationship; just a breather from my semester. Its been a whirlwind of sorts in the last few weeks and finally its just one word... freedom!!!

So, let me leave relish that and talk of something else for now.

Do you get spam emails? I am sure most of you do. And for some its more than your regular emails. Sometimes, they are kind of a relief from an empty inbox! In fact, I changed my email addresses in the last few years and they still find me somehow!!!

The other day I was just going through some of them, just out of curiosity! And, they are nothing sort of educational!! Here are some from my collection, but before that; please don't judge me based on this crap!!!

There was one with a subject as "Obama withdraws from elections". Oh really? The email said "Great improvements to sex life guaranteed!". What is the connection? That's the question!!! Doesn't it blow your mind? Doesn't it?
Another had a subject as "Osama Bin Laden caught!". Oh my!! Wait, the email said "We have herbal solutions for all your problems"!! See, Bush is looking at the wrong approach. He should read this email and figure out a strategy!!!
A hopeful one had a subject as "Our target is a happy life". Isn't that a good thing? Happy life! Who doesn't want it? I am sure everyone wants a happy life. The email read "Convert your little gun into a perfectly working cannon"!! Lets leave it at that!!!

Guess its a better idea to delete all that junk! I know there will be more tomorrow! Anyways, next time you see these, just have a hearty laugh before deleting them! At least, they are amusing even though annoying!

I got book-work tag from tairebabs last week. So here goes:

Nearest book that I have is "Digital Fortress" by Dan Brown. Those text books were a little afar, else you could have read some theory now!!!

Fifth sentence on page 123: "I could use another pillow if it is not too much trouble" [No, there's nothing much going on there, so don't ponder!]
Next three sentences: 'Not at all'.
Becker grabbed a pillow of a nearby cot and helped Cloucharde get comfortable.
The old man sighed contentedly.

Moral of the story: Pillow? Comfort?? Old man??? eh?

Not tagging anyone for now!! Will do that on another day!!!

Well, that's all for now.

Take care and have a good weekend and don't loose that smile!!!

;-))

...

2008-06-08T17:02:00.000+10:00

Look ma! Three dots!!

Yup! Thats all I got for today. Three dots to indicate that I am too busy to even think and write something good!! Except all the assignments that I have to do for my submissions!! Sheesh!!!

Thanks for checking on me!!!

And yes, Well done Obama!!!

;-))

Three steps more...

2008-06-01T08:13:00.000+10:00

Time flew faster than I thought it would. Classes are finally over and now just three more things left to do.

One - Study during the study leave (I hope to do so! This is the time when holiday anticipation just makes one a little greedy!!)
Two - Submit assignments (Oh yeah!! more of those clerical work to be done!!!)
Three - Write exams (Eeek!!!)

And after that... sweet rest!!!

The other when me and 'D' were going to the supermarket, we saw a cute little girl. She was wearing a nice pretty dress and had her hair tied up in two pony tails. She looked adorable. And just then we thought of admiring her even more, she took out a cigarette from her purse and started lighting it up. The adoration and cuteness was flushed away in an instant.

Where are these kids headed in today's world? And here, no one is even bothered to tell them its bad and can screw up your health!

Indeed, God save the world !!

Have a nice weekend

;-))

Exams, Cold, Busy...

2008-05-27T07:56:00.000+10:00

Wonder what those three words have meant for you. If you think I am being honored by a royal screw, then, na! I am doing just fine, amidst many things going on here!!

For starters, last week it became really cold here. The temperature scooped down to pick up some snow. Thankfully it didn't! I had lectures and my ass was literally frozen! Oh did I tell you I have a pet donkey? :-))

Then, being the end of the semester, its that time of the year when every student does the ritual panic-run-and-dance around the fire. Of course, the professors will be playing the music! You would remember the tribal dance! Yeah! No? Guess you never went to college then! Oh wait, you went and still you don't know? Oh my god, you are a NERD!! :-))

So all in all, a bit too busy and tied up!

Keep checking in and take care!!

Have a good week!!

;-))

Wanted...

2008-05-19T08:35:00.000+10:00

I never see a shortage of the notices for wants, needs and desires around here. Maybe not desires, but the other two, ooh yeah!!

I saw this one yesterday and just couldn't stop from taking a picture of it.

;-))

Back with a "Moron"...

2008-05-10T19:32:00.000+10:00

Did someone miss me here? I hope not because the gap from my last post was a bit longer than expected. Yeah, life’s changed faster than my comprehension.

Before that I want to introduce to you a “Moron” whom I met before leaving the place that was my home for about eight years. I thought it would be a smooth and emotional exit from that place with no more grudges. But this “Moron” was made by destiny to make it otherwise.

I checked in my bags and was waiting for the immigration counter to open for the final formalities before boarding the plane. Oh yes, in that city you have to wait for the immigration officials to enjoy their stupid break and come back in their own sweetest time. I was counting minutes and people, hoarding around in random queues. Just an hour before my flight’s departure time, they decide to make themselves worthy. People gushed in disgust to get their passports stamped and get out of the lousy place.

My bad luck and the “Moron” were aligned to the utmost perfection. So, he called me and I went to the counter and gave him all the documents. His approach of looking at the passport was the first indication that he was a “Moron”. His first question seconded my assumption.

“Where is your other boarding pass?”

If you are going to a Australia via Singapore, you would first get a boarding pass to Singapore from the place you start and then a boarding pass to Australia when you reach Singapore. Right? Wrong! The “Moron” was not happy with my answer.

“Where is your visa to Singapore?”

Hmmm! I forgot!!! Bad joke! Singapore has a visa on arrival process if you have visa of some other countries. Everyone knew that, except the “Moron” (Keep wondering on how he got the job). He was not convinced.

“What if they don’t give you entry into Singapore?”

I thought I would call up “Moron” and tell him a brief history about his family and then commit suicide? Ha! Does it matter if I am not allowed? It is not his bloody problem. I told him I will take the next available flight to my next destination. He didn’t understand what I was saying as he was busy trying to find some fault in my passport.

“What is the name of your father and mother?”

I knew mine but did the “Moron” knew his? I gave him the details but was frustrated enough to ask him his also.

With every question he was flipping my passport from front to back, as though some magic bunny or some silly dove might just pop out anytime.

“What will you do in Singapore?”

Oh! I wanted to tell the “Moron” that I will be buying stuff for him and his family but just stopped short of saying only shopping and sight-seeing. He was not too happy to hear that I would be going to enjoy myself while he would be sitting on his rotten ass and giving a miserable time to other people.

Finally when he had nothing more to ask, he stamped my passport and gave it. Somehow I just had time to run and catch the flight.

What if I had missed my flight?

“Moron” would have been in history books for sure!!!

Well, that’s all for now. Will be back soon with more from my side!

Keep smiling!

;-))

Backing up...

2008-01-02T10:01:00.000+11:00

I was contemplating whether to end my hiatus in this year or the previous. The controversy of the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning might still continue on. Ah, what crap!! (Don't get carried away by that anyways!). Besides, "D" has been pestering me for quite a while to end my hiatus. So here I am, on a brand new year, back to posting!! Although I might still be a little jittery at first, I will gain speed pretty soon!

You might be wondering, "Where the HELL have you been?".
My solemn reply would be, "I was busy with many things."
You might just say, "Ha! As though we all have all the free time in the world."
I will retort to that as, "Well, it is not easy to wind up and change direction in life."
Is that a high pitched "What???"

Time for me to explain...

So I came into this city to start my professional career in the infamous IT industry. Basically create new things which people can do on their computers. Some fancy, some smart, others just beating around the bush to make some money. My life of independence started here. There was freedom at first. It was followed by mistakes. And then I understood responsibility. Sounds simple, but it took me a while to reach there! (Yeah, I guess I am a little dumb!!!)

I tasted success. (It was not Yummy for sure)
I hit nose down with failure. (It did hurt)
I made money. (Oh come on! Everyone makes money now a days!!!)
I fell in love with the most amazing woman in the world. (Oh yeah! I am not gay!! Ha!!!)
And I realized I had to move on!!!

I saw this place transform from a beautiful city to an obnoxious place of educated self centered crazy people. (Yup! It is not as it was!!!) Somehow, every place begins and ends with a queue!!! Although there still are many great people who live a life of ignorance here.

I am in the process of winding up here. Many good & bad memories to fall upon. Many strings to be broken.

Oh wait... did I mention where I am going to? Oops!!

Well I have decided to get back into academics. Back into a class room with a teacher. Its time for me to learn and share what I have learned so far. Hope that will be an interesting journey. Not that this journey wasn't. It was equally educational as well.

So, thats a quick update from me!

Today I saw a crazy statement near a temple. It read "We do marriage's death ceremony with respected priests". Yeah, it made sense somewhere but the puzzle is still open!!!

On that note, wishing you all a very Happy, Prosperous & Safe New Year!!

Keep smiling!!!

;-))

Another Hiatus...

2007-10-03T18:15:00.000+10:00

Life's knotting me up in many ways. Will be back as soon as I can open up most of them.

I will be visiting your blogs though!!!

Take care and be safe!!!

;-))

Weird Thefts...

2007-09-20T14:19:00.000+10:00

It is very common to see the news of thieves and their antics around the place. There was a time when burglary used to be headlines. But now a days, we don't even bother. It becomes even weirder to read about thieves picking on things that you would least expect to be stolen. I mean, who would have thought you would loose your undergarments when your precious jewelery was right in the next drawer. Or your beer when your blender was just near the refrigerator. I think times are changing, or has really changed for these new age thieves.Here are a few weird thefts that I recommend you be aware of:
- A woman used to steal gnomes, flower pots and garden ornaments worth several pounds in her neighborhood. It seems when officers raided her house, it was like an Alladin's cave full of goodies.
- A thief in Australia held a family at gun point before fleeing with a bag full of snakes.
- One guy tried to jump over the counter at McDonald's to steal a bunch of cups with monopoly game pieces on them. He was just trying his luck!!
- In Texas a guy apparently stole a window of a GNC store and a bunch of nutritional supplements. I can see a healthy future through my window!!!
- In Israel a bunch of thieves stole around 40 vibrators and a dildo from a sexologist's car. Many points to ponder and learn here!!!
- A man with a thing for mannequins was arrested after he tried to steal one dressed in black and white French maid's uniform. Did he think she can clean his loins??
- There is always this big question of why thieves stuff animals down their pants while stealing from a pet store. Recently a man stuffed a lover lorikeet (kind of a bird) into his pant. I am sure the poor birdie must have lost all the love!!!
- Thieves in Germany broke into a garden and stole a big haul of bees. Now thats a crazy sting operation!!!- They didn't hold back in stealing a 35 foot inflatable gorilla. Probably, they just wanted to free the gorilla into the wild.
- In Malaysia a thief tried stealing spotlight from a billboard sign. In between his accomplice left him stranded on the high pole. I believe he took it quite literally when his astrologer told him he would rise high and be in the spotlight!!!
- One guy took off with the entire urinal from a pub's restroom. I can't quite comment on that!!!
- Someone got into a house, used the fire extinguisher, scattered fast food wrappers all over the place and ordered pay-per-view porn!! Revenge or pure indulgence???
- A thief stole a bunch of showers and boilers from apartments in Glasgow. Nice way to wash off the guilt and vices!!!
- Police in Pennsylvania are on the lookout for the thief who kept stealing road signs. What do you do with road signs?
- In Columbia, the cops were baffled by a gang who steal undies from women in broad daylight. Fetish, Perverts or Thieves???- These guys are better than Ocean's gang. In Tokyo, a bunch of thieves somehow managed to steal a gold bathtub worth a million dollars from a guest bathroom. Big mystery on how they did the job!!! Any comments Danny???
- One grocery-store robber walked away with whiskey, lettuce and a thermometer. So you drink whiskey, eat lettuce and check your temperature? Is that it???
- A Florida thief tried to steal "poisonous snakes" from a shed labeled "Poisonous Snakes". Well, he only tried as he got by them. Thankfully he survived becoming a Hiss-story!!!
- Two college guys stole a life sized status of Homer Simpson from a theater. They were forced to return it by the cops. D'oh!!!- Shortly after being released with a warning, a thief with a history of theft problems left courtroom and stole a "bait" car placed across the street. The judge must have had a deja vu seeing the thief back in the courtroom!!!
- A thief stole shoes from a clearance table outside a store. So whats weird?? Well, all the shoes were for the right foot!!! He must be wondering "My Left Foot"!!!
- Here's a dental case. A thief stole 13 electric toothbrushes from a store!!!
- The Victoria's Secret stores in Raleigh, North Carolina may run into losses or shortage of panties. Thieves have stolen more than $35000 worth of lingerie since March this year! Wow???
- A thief in Illinois stole two coolers of milk from a house. The owner had a tough time telling the police the phrase "My milk is stolen".
- One Texas thief stole only bras and walking shorts!!!
- A bald New York man walked into a pharmacy and shoplifted five bottles of hair-loss treatment. He had enough of the bald and the beautiful!!!
A few that I remember happened in my locality:
- A thief had the habit of stealing women's night dress in the surrounding area. One day he was seen tied up to a tree. He was wearing a night dress as well. Of course, he was black and blue from the beating!
- During my growing up years, my locality was be frequented by foxes at night. People would try and safeguard their chicken and goats from these predators. It was a good excuse for thieves to blend in with the foxes. One such smart thief ended up in a raw deal. He was stealing chicken from a house. A bunch of foxes targeted the same house for the same reason. The thief was bitten up by the foxes and later beaten up by the house owners!!! Talk about bad luck!!!
- There used to be a thief called the "one hand picker" in our area. He would pick on anything he could lay his hand on through any open window. Things he picked ranged from jewelery to clothes to vessels to even used slippers. His final pick was on the leash of a dog. The black Doberman held on to his hand till he was caught and roughed up!!!

And I read in today's newspaper that thieves stole oil from a nearby electric transformer!!!

Be safe and have a great weekend!!!

;-))

To my Drunk Buddies...

2007-09-11T14:34:00.000+10:00

One of those "wonderful" things of life which many relish, drinking has become something more than a way of life. There are umpteen occasions to say "Cheers" and be cheerful now a days. Just a few sips and gulps and you are right where you want to be.

At one point in time I was not quite a teetotaler. Every weekend used to be just a great party of bubbles in the head and gay at heart. No, not that "homo-gay" you nut!!!! During those days, I met many drink buddies and friends. Its a different thing our friendship was a bit unrecognizable in the light of the day. Hard to forget still are certain moments and people:

- There used to be a guy in our beverage group whom we tried to avoid from parties. Reason being: he would start crying after he gets high. For some reason, when the alcohol content in his body goes high, all his supposedly ex-feelings of love and betrayal starts haunting him. Then its crying and howling till someone volunteers to dump him at his place. We ran out of volunteers before we decided to stop tagging him along.

- The opposite was another guy who would become serious after a couple of drinks. His expression would be of the type that anyone would think something is wrong. He would drink further on but with utter seriousness. Thankfully he was not a pest for others around.
- Innumerable weirdos do weird things in the men's room as well. There was this guy who would always go to the toilet with his beer mug. And yes, he would actually drink in there as well. I never got the point and never ever debated to find out the mysterious rational. There was another guy who would become a singer whenever he's letting out his drinks. And his song would stop just as soon as he is done. He would do that every time, with precision!!!

- One guy had a fascination towards fries every time his head went tizzy. No matter how much he ate, his last dish would always be loads of fries and ketchup! Once he had even ordered it as his dessert and thats when we knew he had too much at the formal dinner.

- A dude who would always be game for drinks had this habit of throwing up after getting tizzy. Once he reaches his limit, you would see him thinking and behaving as though he is searching for something. And before you even know, he would be on his legs to the nearest exit point. Once he couldn't find his way out quick enough and so had to empty himself in a nearby flower pot!!! Thankfully no one noticed his act; that flower pot was never found in that bar again!!!
- Have you ever heard of someone's English getting an American accent after a few drinks? Well, we had that specimen in our group. This guy would go into highly accented english as soon as the drinks hits his head. Once he got into a conversation with babe and she thought he was an NRI. She dumped him as soon the bubbles in head burst.

- Then there were these two guys who always felt that Die Hard is the best thing to happen to them! Just a few drinks to get to the tizzy limit and then its only Die Hard every time. Its Bitch and John McClane all over the place. We would always make them swear for no Die Hard before taking them in. But then who cares when you are Drunk!!!

- One guy would want to pay the bill every time he is fully drunk. But alas, every time his wallet would be empty. Dunno if that was intentional but he never really paid the bill.

- Once we had a friend's cousin joining us for drinks. The guy was abnormal. He would be ultra horny after getting drunk. The cute ones had a tough time that evening. That was the last of him in our group!!!
- A guy had the habit of smoking double cigarettes when his limit's reached. Once we had just one cigarette left. He was not happy about. He begged and pleaded around for one, finally stole one from the manager's jacket. After that night we always kept a backup pack of cigarettes just for this creep.

- A good friend of mine always felt that everything on the table is less. Every time we order for drinks he would feel its too less and that we should have more in case the bar runs out of drinks. So whenever he was around all the drinks would be twice the normal limit. Yeah, he could finish off any leftovers with ease. The only problem was to carry the "papa bear" to the nearest bed once he passes out.So thats a few of them I remember vividly!

Thankfully all of them were safe when drunk. At least someone was level headed to act responsibly if things went out of control.

Anyways, my suggestion to everyone who wants to enjoy those bubbles in the head; be safe!!!

Take care!!

;-))

Apartment for Sale...

2007-08-02T13:52:00.000+10:00

Selling my apartment was one big ordeal which I can never forget. Far from being an experience, it was the varied weird people that I came in contact with. The crude human nature from the fight of utter stinginess to the raw prudence of void; well, human evolution has come a long way than I could have ever imagined!

I put up the first ad for the apartment in some online websites. Considering the city to be net savvy, I got a call from a reluctant software engineer. He decided to come with an hour's levy and I managed to clean up the place at super speed. He left at lightning speed, leaving me dazed. Thats when I knew, it would be a long journey trying to sell the place at a decent price.
Thereafter calls kept coming in at a regular interval. I got a feeling that most of the callers wanted to see the house through the telephone. I remember a lady asking me to describe the place in its exactness. I told her everything and asked her what else she wanted to know. She goes "Ummmm! I don't know, you tell me!". I slammed the phone down! Another called up regarding the apartment and then asked for my email address. Didn't realize the connection!!!

After a couple of months of futile online publicity, I decided to go for print ad in some local news papers. And thats when the asylum doors opened up with all the crazy people started running towards my door. It was a pain to organize the visits for them. Some wanted to come at specific times while others wanted to coincide it with their dinner & lunch timings.

One evening a dude and his stupid family came. I am emphasizing stupid because they were indeed stupid. Their daughter ran into the apartment and started jumping all over the place. The lady was very shy to see the place; I thought I was fully clothed that day. She seemed only interested in the ceiling of the apartment. And the dude, somehow, was more interested in seeing the apartment from the outside. He went out and looked at the building from all sides! I think he was looking for his grandfather's lost treasures. They left and never called after hearing the price. And yes, I did throw their jumping daughter out of the house!!!
A cool couple came once in style. The term cool emphasizes their status in terms of a great car, a cool cell, good clothes and no money, of course. They saw the place and talked in their US-return-accented English. They said they would call me over the week and that we should meet at some coffee place and discuss the next steps. I am yet to have my coffee!!! Still waiting!! Sigh!!!

I also wasted about half an hour with an elderly couple who were boasting about their family accomplishments. Somehow the old man was having a headache because of some smell. I think it was his wife!!!

And then there was this weird lady who came with her aunt. The aunt didn't remove her shoes while walking around because she said its canvas. I never knew canvas was irremovable from the feet and utterly clean. They peeped around and agreed to buy the place. They wanted a copy of the paperwork to scrutinize which I agreed to give in a few days. Thereafter it was a pain!! She would call me from all over the city and tell me to come and meet her. After a few days I told her I have sold off the place and not to call me again!! Better no one than her as the buyer.
During those days I was playing a bit of GTA. Don't know if it was backlash of the GTA psyche but one guy, who came to see the place, looked a lot like one from the Cuban Mafia Cartel. He was wearing a huge gold chain on his and he was speaking in all weird English. He looked around the place and started following me. Even when I went to throw something into the garbage, he was behind me. Didn't quite understand the idea but glad he never called back.

A couple came in a hurry one day and started looking around the place in very detail. It was a cloudy that day and dark outside. The lady had a problem that it was dark inside the apartment. Sheesh!! I forgot to install a sun inside the place when I bought it!
This was just a few of those I remember. There have been many more. But in the end I made good deal with a wonderful family. I am happy with them taking over my place. I guess its patience and faith which brought out this deal. And I can't thank "D" enough for making this happen for both of "us"!

Keep smiling!!

;-))

Peeping back into Oblivion...

2007-07-04T13:50:00.000+10:00

It has been an exhausting last few weeks ever since I stopped coming into this blogging world. And before this week could end I thought of saying a brief "Hello" to everyone.

"Hello!!!"

Where was me the whole time? I guess thats the big question unanswered for a long time now. Let me sum it up in a simple way.

I was pulled into a mess of ignorant empty heads, beaten up by betrayal and left to rot in a sea of misery. No! I am just kidding!

It was indeed sad to learn that my better half has been swinging the other direction all this while, right under my nose. And that I was the offspring from a gay reunion! Nope, that didn't happen either!!!

But seriously I was flabbergasted by that one night which changed everything. I thought it would be fun to have that extra drink. And the next morning I was in hospital, my kidney missing and my liver and spleen split in half. Didn't know they wanted to make a road kill out of my desperation! Got you again!!!

Ok, I won't do it again!So here's a bunch of things that REALLY happened in the last few weeks:

I managed to sell off my apartment amidst a battle of deals that ranged from the lowest to the highest. And the best part of the ordeal was to meet up a varied kind of people at my door step. From the weirdest to the stupidest asking for the most ridiculous bargain. I will blog about the whole experience some day. Anyways, after a long wait and patience, I managed to sell it off to a very decent family. It felt good to make a deal with someone who can respect the love and care that was put into my first apartment! The profit margin is something which I shouldn't be talking about. "Patience is the key to making profit!".

I resigned from my last job and moved into a startup. It was with a heavy heart that I left my last company and a great team that I had. Even though the last few days there were frustrating and nerve breaking, it did break a few hearts to leave the place. However, my new company is a small one. The office is just like any other startup. One has to do everything to keep the place running. And the people here are so full of energy. Everyday just passes off with tons of work getting done! By the way, our first product will be launched pretty soon and I would recommend you give it a shot. "Life moves on!"I fell quite sick amidst all the happenings. The combination of eating out and stress put my tummy in a sticky situation. The first hand experience of gastroenteritis (very mild case) was not a pleasant one. My only learning was to respect animals and enjoy vegetables! It took me a long way in controlling my weight and my health. "Everything happens for a reason!"

During the last few days I realized the importance of people in life. Those special ones who stay by your side no matter how hard and difficult the time is. I learned to love and be loved all over again. Sometimes we take them for granted but every moment spent with them is as precious as them. "Never take anyone for granted!"
So thats just a wee bit from my side of the world. Hoping to post on a regular basis from now!!

Take care and keep smiling and have a great weekend!!!

;-))

On a Hiatus...

2007-05-18T16:09:00.000+10:00

Too many things going on here. Will be back soon. However, I will continue to visit all your blogs!

Take Care & Keep smiling!!

Have a nice weekend!!!

;-))

Restaurant Woes...

2007-05-02T15:38:00.000+10:00

[Have been too busy to blog for quite some time now. Got a little time now and so writing something quick about a recent rendezvous!]

In this city, there are all kinds of restaurants. From ones that serve fancy food with fancy names to those which serve simple food with weird names and vice versa too. Apart from the food, there is the service aspect which can be a differentiator too; at times putting off too. I mean, what the hell if the waiter behaves as if he is doing a great favor by bringing me some food to eat. And not to mention the chef with attitude; the one who leaves his mark in every plate (not the artistic mark!).
I had a rendezvous recently at a place called Tiffany's. Oh no, don't make any reference to Breakfast at Tiffany's. I went there last weekend for a quick lunch considering the time aspect. It was a hectic day and this was a familiar name. But, as soon as I walked into the restaurant, I knew it was a mistake. The blue hue, the funny noise making carpet and the shabby waiters all added up to one thing - "Mistake".

I took up a corner seat and told the waiter to turn on the fan behind the seat (as that was the only cooling solution there). The waiter scrambled over the seat and almost pushed "D". For a moment I wanted to panic, but as soon as the fan came alive, things started flying away from me. I took a safe distance from the fan and sat on the blue seat. Dunno why everything there was blue?

The buffet was not a good option. The oily curries and the shiny kebabs were a big No. In fact, those kebabs shined better than my formal shoes. And the cut veggies looked like a platter for moo. I decided to stick onto to ala carte. I picked a mixed grill without onion and fried eggs and "D" settled on some chicken dish (the name was very hard to pronounce). And then the wait began.
After about fifteen minutes I called the waiter and asked him for status update on our orders. He replied, "two minutes" and walked off. Then I saw him loitering around a couple of tables away. I decided to give him some levy time. After about ten minutes I called him again. This time also he said "two minutes" and walked to the far side of the restaurant where he was inaccessible. My irritation was warming up. In the meanwhile, "D" decided to order for some watermelon juice. It somehow came at lightning speed but the only drawback was that it looked as though we had ordered watermelon juice from a wine perspective. The glasses and the quantity was meant for Hobbits. By the way, me and "D" do not look anywhere close like Hobbits.

About half an hour passed and I did a rain check with the waiter. He said, "two minutes" and this time went into the kitchen. He hid there for quite sometime before showing himself on the far side. My irritation had boiled into frustration by then. I decided to go for the bill and cancel the order. The wait had exceeded an hour. I called another waiter and told him to get the bill. It seemed the waiters were trained to say "two minutes" with dire precision. This guy also said the same thing and vanished off. Then finally after about ten minutes more something like food came onto the table.Whatever "D" had ordered was indescribable. I didn't know whether it was what she had ordered or was it just a plop from somewhere. My mixed grill looked like a marinated road kill executed by the "Two Minutes" waiter and the invisible chef. The hunger from my tummy transformed into fear. I was scared to try even a tiny morsel from that plate. And not to mention, the fried eggs and onions were there even though I had told them an explicit No. "D" took one spoon of the plop and burped a quick WTH. I chewed on a bit of my dish and knew exactly what Hell tasted like. We decided to pay up and leave. So I called up the "good" waiter and asked him for the bill. For the first time he uttered a new word. He asked "why". I told him to just get the god damn bill. Then, he said the usual "two minutes" and vanished off again. I was planning on leaving a few notes and fleeing from that place. Another waiter came inquisitively and asked what was wrong. "D" had lost her sanity by then and she barked with the choicest of words. Not sure if they understood the meaning, but the bill came and we paid and left the gateway to Hell!!!

I am sure it takes craftsmanship and talent to run a place like that!!There are many more in this city which umpteen weirdness associated with them. Here's a few which I gathered.
- A south indian restaurant here which serves mediocre cuisines has a bunch of very shy waiters. They giggle and walk together like a bunch of school girls. You have to try and lure hard to get them to get the bill. Let me emphasize here, there is no girl in that bunch.

- A multi-cuisine restaurant with a dark ambiance opened recently to utter dismay. Their dark ambiance is so dark that the waiter himself has to go out under a bright lamp to check the food complaint from the customer. Apart from money, please do carry a torch to check your order.

- A south indian restaurant where the menu is in english but the waiters cannot understand the same. Sign language might work but the final interpretation to the chef may not be the same as your desire.

- A restaurant in a 7-star hotel where the service is based on how white you are. Racial discrimination? Maybe. Somehow the waiters can only identify white skin. The rest are just people with money who don't fit int the place.

- An old coffee shop which has survived the independence. The waiters have mustaches. Its reminiscent in the pastries and sandwiches you order.

- Another supposedly exotic place where the spice level in the food is close to the sun. You can eat there but do dial in the fire brigade next morning. You will need it!!!

So on a note not to spoil your appetite, be safe when you try a new restaurant.

Keep walking and keep smiling!!!

;-))

Flight Miserable...

2007-04-16T17:25:00.000+10:00

Traveling cheap might be a financially smart choice but many a times, its worse than a lame excuse for miserable journey. I made that choice recently and regretted.

I booked my tickets on a local carrier which is supposedly revolutionizing the concept of cheap travel. Yeah, it is indeed a revolution to see your dirty neighbor in the same flight as yours with a pic of his cow beside him. And with its cheap rates, the airline comes with a bunch of horrendous compliments.

The first part is for one to get onto the flight. Most of the times the flights are never on time. They operate with a few aircrafts and try to multiplex across different routes. So if there is a technical snag or a bird hit then you can spend more time at the airport than it would take to reach your destination. In my recent experience, my journey time was 1 hour but I spent around 4 hours at the airport, waiting for a miracle to happen. Every half an hour the plan kept changing. People were barking at the ever calm authorities, who by the way, were taking turns to listen to the grievances. In fact, after each session one could never locate the same face again. Or wait, was it the same person with different faces? Who cares!!!

Once the flight is ready to board, there is a mad scramble to reach the aircraft. You might wonder its as though if you reach first you get the best seats. Well, you just guessed it right (yay!!!). You will get the best window seat or the one near the pretty lady if you reach first. And if you are unfortunate and late, then you can share the next couple hours with that dirty neighbor with the pic of his cow beside him. The seats are close enough to just fit in your knee cap comfortably. And thats it! No stretching or cross legging allowed (No wonder those mini skirt lasses didn't board this plane!!). If your co-passenger wants to fart in the loo you will have to stand up not to applaud, but to let him pass through. And when he is back you have to get up and receive him once again!!! So that nap which you planned earlier, lets forget about those details!
The take off will be a little jumpy because the pilot flying it must have been a cheap deal for the airline company. Don't be surprised if the co-pilot just finished his flying lessons through correspondence. And if you are trying to understand what they are saying, just don't bother. Because if the flight is going down then you can write your will and say your last prayer!!

It is natural for every air carrier to serve food for the passengers. In this case, If you are hungry and you need food, you have to buy it from the ignorant air hostess. Well, don't tempt her too much, she can poison you on high skies. And if you are dying of dehydration and you don't have money, you don't have much options. Every little morsel of food is charged to your throat. A mere sandwich would cost nothing less than 50 rupees (thats around 1 dollar). A bottle of water would be around 25 rupees (thats about 50 cents). Cheap airline? Think again!! And the quality of food. Well, you remember that shady restaurant where the cook scratches himself before cooking and where the waiters always seem to have perpetual cold, its as bad!!The air circulation in the cabin is very weird. Sometimes in the middle of the flight you feel hot and then suddenly you are freezing your lungs out. It is suffocating to smell everything from the food people eat at that moment to what they ate hours ago. I gasped for breath in between the flight. And I really wished I could open the window for some fresh air. Nope, they don't allow that either! And they never use air fresheners to remove the bad odors. Guess its some company policy to save them for a nuclear holocaust.

The toilets are awfully small and they don't have proofing. The sound of the flush is audible all over the air craft. I guess even the pilot can count the number of times people flushed. And not to mention those perverts who sit and watch around and enjoy themselves! Far from being a pervert, I was getting a throw up sensation every time some moron played around in the toilet!Somehow, in these carriers, people never respect the pilot, his words or even the air hostess' for that matter. The moment the pilot announces the plane is about to land, people get prepared as though they have a big race coming up. Even the most sleepy person becomes as alert as a radar. The pilots somehow manage to land the plane with all the jerks and jumps and sways possible. During that time every baby in the plane bursts out to the tune of bohemian rhapsody, of course the crude version. Once the plane slows down, people scramble out of their seats and open the upper compartment to pick their cabin baggage. They probably fear that someone will take them otherwise. Its a deja vu of the public transport bus. No sooner the bus, i mean the plane, stops a queue is readily formed till the door. If that ignorant air hostess was not standing with her grumpy face that dirty neighbor would had disembarked with the pic of his cow.

After the plane stops completely (including the air circulation), there is a momentary lapse of reason before the door opens. People start getting anxious and murmur on why they are not opening the door. Some of them bend and peep out of the window to see if anyone is attending the orphan plane. The ignorant air hostess meanwhile pulls out a vomit bag for those kids in front. The kid is just returning all the food his dad bought with his precious money. But who cares, the door just opened and people push out like a bunch of drunk beavers.
I learned my lesson the hard way. Next time even if this is the last flight to save thyself from Armageddon, I would rather face Armageddon than take this carrier. I know the regret will be less or none at all!!!

Have a nice day!!!

;-))

Call of the B(r)easts...

2007-04-04T16:28:00.000+10:00

Mankind is very fascinated by the swell about six inches below the visionary organs. Yes, the infamous breasts. It goes by various nicks such as Tits, Boobies, Boobs, Jublies, Bosoms, Airbags, Rack, Titties, Milk Depot, Baps etc. (courtesy a survey in UK). It is very interesting to see the various levels of fascinations. Men are intrigued by other people's breasts; while some laud on the bulge of special women and some get charmed by a well built man's bosom. At times, you can see some guys literally talking to them. At one time a guy went like, "Hello! Oh my, hello to you two"! And at another time he kept looking at them through the whole conversation. The lady was so disgusted that she said "Why don't I leave you three alone for some time"? Of course, the guy agreed but the lady reciprocated with a punch!

A research shows that men are mostly calmed by them. They feel very safe and at peace looking them. Safe?? Well, for one they won't come out and beat you up. Can't say if the owner also might behave the same. But the whole idea of calming a person could be a precursor to solving many problems. Why not try it on an agitated boy friend or husband? Or even a terrorist? The research goes on to explain that men feel a sense of security by looking at them. They feel protected from all the world's evil. I don't want to elaborate anything further!
Even from the perspective of breasts as a term, it can garner all the attention needed. Try this, send an email with subject as My Breasts. Trust me, even the most ignorant recipient will open it. I guess thats one way to pull your ignorant boss' attention to an important email. Another possibility could be using the term in a boring presentation. I am sure every sleepy guy in the audience will wake up and start focusing! No harm in leveraging an already hiked up temptation. In fact, when there are terms like breasts, boobies in any text, the reader is caught up pretty soon.A typical male psychology is to recover from a misery when a high level of shock is given. Sometimes when bad things happen, a particular male might gain the right balance after a shock on the visionary context. Even though a lady might have the power to save a life, the aftermath of it may not be quite innocent. In fact, in Justice League (a fictional conglomeration of fictional super heroes) when superman is hit by a violent anti-hero, nothing prevented him from going into a coma. Just at that moment, wonder-woman took off her wonder-bra and gave a shock treatment to save him. Everyone was happy with the approach. Of course, batman didn't like the fact that robin was staring at him throughout the entire ordeal, but thats a different story! So, many a times help is just two clicks away. Either you have to reach out for them or let them come to you. The latter, by the way, is a dream come true!! And if you try the former you might go into dreams again!!While nature has a specific algorithm and formula to dictate the physical attributes of them. Mankind invariably plays with nature and has now devised ways to control and manipulate those attributes. The result is super boobies like Pamela Anderson, (Late) Anna Smith, Carmen Electra and many more unknown people, including your neighbor. The pleasing for many eyes has just increased. For those who relish or who wants to feel safe, size is never an issue! And by the way, God bless them all.

I presume the fascination and admiration for many will continue on till eternity. There is no for the realization which you got long ago, "Look mama I can see, I can see". You can always stare with it beyond eternity and see and admire anything you want! However, just be careful of that fist. It may not be worth admiring, considering the time constraint!!

On another silly note, keep walking and keep smiling!!

;-))

Literate but Uneducated...

2007-03-28T14:14:00.000+10:00

Now a days, every second person is literate but fairly uneducated. What does that mean??? Well, it means the person can read and write and understand everything which the person is interested in. But apart from that everything else is none of their business. Even if that means doing something which affects everything around that person.
Today morning as I was walking towards the work place, I saw a real example. A well dressed lady was walking in front of me, presumably going to work. She looked like any other blue collared worker; in this city most of the professional workers have a similar trait in terms of looks. She was carrying a large plastic bag. As she approached a small pile of garbage lying in front of an apartment complex, she made a generous contribution to the dump by swinging her plastic bag into it. A nearby security man objected to her action and asked her why she threw her garbage in front of the apartment complex. She replied "everyone has thrown it here so why shouldn't I"?
Ain't that one good reason for her???

You should see some of these people out on the road sometimes. The other day I saw a so called "sophisticated" man sitting in his posh car. Next to him was an auto driver with his three wheeler. Even before the signal could turn green, the auto driver started squeezing his vehicle through, as though he could reach far with that effort. The next act was by the man in his car. He turned into the next possible gap available to reach a few millimeters nearer to his destination. He was not only blocking vehicles in his lane but also everything in the other lane. Reason being, he was getting late for his meeting at work. I wouldn't have been surprised if I knew the guy was the CEO of the MNC division! Pity how they rise up to that level when their basic common sense is same as that of an auto rickshaw driver!!!

Is there a solution to the problem? or maybe its not a problem at all. Thats how things work here as always.
Its the attitude that has to change!!

;-))

English Goof Up...

2007-03-15T15:02:00.000+11:00

It is not uncommon to see people messing around with the English Language. There are some who do it unknowingly and there are a few who do it naturally because they are trying their best in the language usability. No, there is no fault there. Its just that, the read is always wonderful.

The following letter led to the introduction of toilets in Indian Railways.

Dear Sir,

I am arrive by passenger train at Ahmedpore station, and my belly is too much swelling with jack fruit. I am therefore went to privy, Just as I doing the nuisance, that guard making whistle blow for train to go off and I am running with lotah in one hand and dhotie in the next hand. I am fall over and expose my shockings to man, females, woman on platform. I am get leaved at Ahmedpore station.

This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung, that dam guard no wait train 5 minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honour to make big fine on that guard for public sake, otherwise I am making big report to papers.

Yours faithful servant

Okhil Ch. Sen

(Lotah is a small copper vessel for carrying water. Dhoti is a simple clothing, much like a Sarong)

The following speech was given by a new School Principal who was transferred from the rural area.

Ladies and Gentulmens, Childrens. This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. I wanted to joint your school more fastly but wire-man came and gave a telegram massage for me. I got real sock when I read that my feverish and weekly mother became very dangerous. By the time I reached, she had finished. Doctor said me that, before she passed out, the pulls of hand was faster and her breadth became longer. I asked doctor if my mother was in her senses when she died. Doctor said she had sense till 9 o’clock a.m. in the night, but was non-sense by 10 o’clock..

This is an excerpt from an essay on ’The Cow’ written by a candidate for the UPSC exam. He got through successfully:

THE COW: The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadruped and because he is female, he give milk but will do so when he is got child. He is same like God, but sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, whey and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobler, watermans and mankind generally.

And the next letter was written by my school senior. He was very bad in English, honestly. This was his love letter to a girl whom he had crush on:

Dear XXXX

Ever since my eyes saw your eyes, I can't see anything else. Every time my eyes sees you and my heart beats faster and faster and faster. It is moving faster than train engine. If it goes more fast then my heart will attack.
I have been trying to tell you so many words. All those words which meaning you and me. If I write all words in this letter, then it will be bigger than earth.
Today I want to hear your words and voices. I want to speak with you as person. I will be coming from school at dot 1:30pm. I want you wait under that peepal tree. First lets not talk. Because I need your understanding. If you agree to this letter then nod up down three times when I looking at you on approaching. If you not agree then nod left right three times when I looking at you on approaching.
Awaiting you agreement in positive and to hear your words and voices and to speak in person.
Your always loving guy
YYYYYY

Well she didn't nod in agreement or disagreement, rather he got a tight slap from her.

Keep the smile on and have nice weekend.

;-))

Too Clogged Up...

2007-03-09T14:43:00.000+11:00

My thought pipes are too clogged up to write anything this week!!!

However, here's something to keep that smile ON!

And this is a funny clip of a parody on Arnold. Its a good one!

Have a nice weekend and keep smiling!!

;-))

3...

2007-02-27T20:04:00.000+11:00

I have been tagged by Michelle. Thanks to her, now I will have to talk 3 random things about me!! So here goes ...

3 things on my desk:
- Cell phone
- Headphones
- Bottle of water

3 things on me always:
- The ring
- 3 bracelets on my wrist
- Clothes (yeah yeah!!)3 movies I can watch anytime:
- Hitch
- Big Fat Greek Wedding
- Star Wars Saga

3 habits I quit:
- Smoking
- Boozing
- Partying

3 habits I pride on:
- Learning music
- Solving math puzzles
- Toning my body

3 people I treasure:
- The one who founded me
- The one who funded me
- The one who figured me3 people I hate:
- Ms Liar
- Ms Hypocrisy
- Dr. Green

3 people who changed me:
- The one who founded me
- My English teacher in junior high
- My first boss

3 changes I need on myself:
- Insensitivity
- Ignorance
- Zero expectations from people

3 of the things to do this weekend:
- Have a hair cut
- Locate my music teacher's new house
- Pick up groceries

3 thing I plan on doing soon:
- Retire from work
- Get back into academics
- Make 1 million in the next couple of months

3 things I want to do before I die:
- Write a book
- Become famous
- Travel around the world

3 dares I call stupidity now:
- Used to race when provoked on street
- Drove back in a sloshed out condition to prove a point
- Trekked in the wrong direction to get almost stranded and lost

3 financial advices from mua:
- Spend and then save
- Invest and then invest again
- Never gain on charity
3 wishes from a genie:
- 10 million dollars after tax in my bank account
- Give me the charm of Don Juan
- Freedom to genie!

3 corrections God should have done on humanity:
- Equalize the prowess of man & woman
- Make humans able to communicate with every organism on earth
- When a human gets a brilliant idea to erase humanity, that person should develop amnesia.

3 possible endings for my life:
- I am watching the last sunrise from the porch of my million dollar house. I see an exotic blond running towards me (typical bay watch style). Suddenly her red bikini falls off and my heart gets a seizure.
- I am part of the battle which humanity is fighting against aliens. All my fellow soldiers have been neutralized by the last mother alien. I drive my broken taken up its arse to save my family, mankind and womankind!
- My slutty wife poisons me at the old age home to run away with my money and her boy friends.

If I bored you, then please consider yourself tagged by me.

Otherwise, keep smiling and have a great weekend.

;-))

True Love (Aww)...

2007-02-22T18:33:00.000+11:00

Ah True Love! It sounds so good, it feels so good, it is so good. Really? I am not sure on what the question is; whether the love is true or its about being true in love. Anyway, describing true love is a very difficult task so let me try some true love in the making!

- You are having a nice mocha with your girl friend when this gorgeous, bootilcious, hot "mama" walks in. Your eyes gape in awe of the beauty and your jaws drop down in amazement. You don't even feel the hot mocha which has reached your crotch by now, courtesy your ex-girl friend. You feel its true love which has changed your world in one instant. You walk up to her with all the love you can gather truly. She turns back and smiles with her braces laced in reminiscences of some meat ball sauce!!! "Eeh! Excuse me!!"

- It is true love for you! Your zest to live has increased a million fold. You think you can stop Shanghai's Maglev with one hand, or pee into the wind or correct the leaning tower of pisa or... Wait thats her kissing another guy! What the... Oh no!!! Where is my true love?

- You are sitting with your "true love", at least thats what you feel. And you are trying to put your true feelings across. A mild conversation:

you: so sweety, can I ask you something?
her: sure! anything!!
you: do you believe in true love?
her (glancing sideways): ooh! what a hunk!! sorry dear... what was that? can you say that again?
you: Grrrrrrr.....!!!!!!!!

- If you discover true love online, please don't take it offline. If you want to do that, brave your heart to bear the brunt of something called disappointment! Those lovely words must have come from that hairy neighbor of yours!!

- Is true love ubiquitous? Possibly? No wonder you fall truly in love with every person you see. Today you have deep true love for this lady. She dumps or you put her in the dumpster. Tomorrow you fall in true love with another lass. Come on!!!

- True love for the sole reason of "need" is an excellent way of living life. Who else will stay there for all your crap? Who will fix your nasty torn underwear? Who will even think of robbing a robbed bank to get you a Kohinoor? Your true love?

- Remember that moment when you asked for a little teeny weeny sexual favor in exchange for the statement "I Love you so much. Truly!!!". And did you get it? Na! The truth in your love was less convincing. But she did give that favor to someone else who was not even close to a true lover. Ouch! That heart break was audible.

- Ever heard of that true love who missed you so much that she went on a date with your lookalike and made out with him. She said "oh baby I missed you so much. I couldn't live with out". Yeah!! Thats why she slept on with the other guy.

So on a silly note, don't judge true love. When it comes and where it comes, just realize it and feel it. That moment will never deceive you!

Keep smiling!!

;-))

Valentine's Day...

2007-02-13T20:09:00.000+11:00

Another Valentine's day is round the corner; a day when you will see and feel love in the air(Not quite sure on that!!). A most part of it is media generated as there is nothing special that actually happens on that day. Or is it not???

- Long before St. Valentine lived, February 14th had strong links with fertility. The date traditionally is known for when birds choose their mates.
- Roman festival of Lupercalia used to be celebrated on February 15th where young men held a lottery to conclude which girl would be theirs.
- In Medieval times, girls ate bizarre foods on St Valentine's Day to make them dream of their future spouse. (Don't ask what they ate!!)
- In the Middle Ages, there was a belief that the first unmarried person of the opposite sex you met on the morning of St. Valentine's Day would become your spouse.
- The first Valentine gift was sent by Duke of Orleans to his wife, after he was captured in 1415.
- 73% of Valentine Day flowers are bought by men, whereas women buy only 23% of Valentine flowers.
- Around 3% of pet owners prefer to give Valentine gifts to their pets, as they are more grateful than humans!

And some superstitions on Valentine's Day. Please, do not believe these to come true!!
- It is said that the kind of bird a girl watches on Valentine's Day predicts her future husband. For instance:
Sparrow: a poor man
Owl: remain spinster
Bluebird: a happy man
Blackbird: a priest or clergyman
Crossbill: an argumentative man
- If an apple is cut in half, the number of seeds found inside the fruit will indicate the number of children that individual will have.
- To be awoken by a kiss on Valentine's Day is considered lucky. (Dunno if that includes your pet as well)
- On Valentine's Day, the first guy's name you read in the paper or hear on the TV or radio will be the name of the man you will marry.
- If you see a squirrel on Valentine's Day, you will marry a cheapskate who will hoard all your money.
- If you see a goldfinch on Valentine's Day, you will marry a millionaire.
- If you see a robin on Valentine's Day, you will marry a crime fighter (
- If you see a flock of doves on Valentine's Day, you will have a happy, peaceful marriage.
- If you find a glove on the road on Valentine's Day, your future beloved will have the other missing glove. (Hopefully!!!)

On that note, this Valentine's day lets wish for love between Lovers, Friends, Families and to a large extent between Foes too!!!

Wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Keep smiling & Be safe!!

;-))

Too Busy...

2007-02-08T14:43:00.000+11:00

I am indeed too busy now a days to even blog a single word!! At the least I could still check on my blog buddies and post a few comments!!

Will be back soon with more goodies.

In the meanwhile, keep smiling and keep walking!

Have a nice weekend!!

;-))

Bad Equations....

2007-01-25T22:18:00.000+11:00

(Two Towers - Two Planes) x Bush = Two Wars

(Ana Nicole Smith / Oil Tycoon) - Oil Tycoon = Heart Attack

Britney - Kevin = Drunk Cupid

Blind Date + Romance + Peeking on Next Table = Blind eye

I + (I*I) + Me = Ego

Passionate Night - Sleeping On Couch = Wrong Name in Bed

Big Brother - (Shilpa x Racism) = Jade

Superman - Red Under wear = Cheap Porn

Hot Lady + Minis + Eve Tease = Tight Slap

A few answers to the age old joke question: "What did the Chicken Cross the Road?"

Homer Simpson: There was free beer on the other side of the road

Egoist: If I was the Chicken I would never cross the road.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross right before your eyes. How many times do you have to see it to believe it?

Scully: Its a common bio-reflex found in all chicken. It is not unusual.

Pope: Because the Lord was on the other side of the road.

Cow: My Moo moved it to the other side.

Captain Kirk (Star Trek): To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Desperate Housewife: Lets talk about the cock first!

(You can also suggest on "Why The Chicken Crossed The Road?")

Have a nice weekend!!

Keep Smiling & Keep Walking!!

;-))

Waiting for a Better Time...

2007-01-16T15:54:00.000+11:00

Have to cross this obstacle...

In the meanwhile, keep smiling & keep walking...

Will be back soon!!

;-))

Interesting Facts...

2007-01-10T14:59:00.000+11:00

Somethings I saw over the internet the other day...

- 25% of all hospital keyboards carry MRSA infection (type of bacterium found on skin and/or nose of healthy people)
- Urban birds have developed a sort of short, fast "rap style" singing unlike their rural counter parts. Talk about modernization!!
- Sex workers in Roman times charged the equivalent price of eight glasses of red wine.
- Eating a packet of crisps is equivalent to drinking five liters of cooking oil in a year. Watch out!!!
- 41% of English women have punched or kicked their partners, according to a study. Ouch!!!
- Modern teens are better behaved compared to their counter parts 20 years ago, in terms of problematic behavior involving sex, drugs & drinks.
- In Bhutan the government is based on Gross National Happiness.
- Camel's milk, which is widely drunk in Arab countries, has more iron than cow's milk. Now thats one Super-Milk-Sheikh!!!
- The inventor of Flushing Toilet was Thomas Crapper. He knew how to get rid of the Crap!!!
- It is impossible to smoke oneself to death with weed. You won't be able to retain enough motor control and consciousness to carry one after a while.
- Every drop of sea water has approximately 1 billion gold atoms! Wanna be rich?
- The total weight of the world's ant population is heavier than the weight of the human population.
- The deadliest war in history excluding World War II was in China in the 1850s in which the rebels were lead by a man claiming to be the brother of Jesus Christ.
- A German Submarine sunk during World War II due to a malfunction of the toilet.
- Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil. Archaeologists have found edible honey in the Egyptian tombs.
- Apples are more effective than caffeine in keeping people awake in the morning.
- The plastic things at the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
- On an average, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles.
- 10 tons of space dusts fall on the Earth everyday. So much mess to clear!!!
- On an average, a 4 year old asks 437 questions a day. Thats a huge list of questions!
- The dumbest domesticated animal is Turkey.
- Dry fish food can constipate a goldfish!
- The stall closest to the door in restrooms is the cleanest as it is least used.
- The first couple to be shown on bed together on prime television was Fred and Wilma Flintstones.
- Men can read small print better than women; women can hear better. Be careful when you murmur!!!
- The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
- The mosquito repellent don't repel the mosquitoes. Rather it makes you invisible to them.
- During World War II, a German U-boat was sunk by a truck. The U-boat in question attacked a convoy in the Atlantic and then rose to see the effect. The merchant ship it sank had material strapped to its deck including a fleet of trucks, one of which was thrown in the air by the explosion, landing on the U-boat and breaking its back. Achtung baby!!!
- It is estimated that any one time, about 0.7% of the world population are drunk.
- The term Cop comes from Constable On Patrol. It came from England.

It is easy to pretend than be yourself all the time. Most people pretend than be who they are. Be yourself!!

Have a nice day!!!

;-))

New Anticipations...

2007-01-04T14:57:00.000+11:00

With the onset of the New Year, the first week and typically the first month is spent on anticipating the year ahead. Some back loggers would reach up in making a few resolutions. Many would break the ones they made around New Year's eve. And still many more would be indifferent to the whole hype as it would be just another day on another week in another month of another year!

There is no one way to look at the year ahead. But rather, with the world full of people, each with their on path in front of them, there are billions of perspectives.

A few thought bubbles from an imaginary world:
- Bushman: Clean up yesteryear's mess. Prepare for another one and keep moving! Two more ears to listen to.
- Ex-Pop diva: Last year lost panties, had another bulge and got rid of the SOB. This year wear them always, no more bulges and get a non-SOB.
- Smoker: Reduce the intake of cigarettes towards the middle of the year and completely stop it by the end of the year.
- Beggar: What? Another year has passed by? Am I becoming lazy.
- Boss: Have to plan a strategy this year to circumvent the mistakes of the previous year. In the meanwhile, please get back to work!
- Corrupter: A new year a new beginning. Fresh opportunities to listen to.
- Software Engineer: Hope whatever I coded last year gets released this year so that I can get some incentives.
- Cow: Got to Moo ahead now!

Hang on to your dreams and hopes. Whatever you couldn't achieve last year, try and get them around in this year.

More on a serious note, this year might just prove terrific for the movie lovers. A bunch of sequels are arriving:
- 28 weeks later (sequel to 28 days)
- The Bourne Ultimatum
- Evan Almighty (sequel to Bruce Almighty)
- Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (The first one had flopped)
- Harry Potter and The Order of Phoenix
- Live Free or Die Hard (The fourth one to the Die Hard series)
- Ocean's 13
- Pirates of the Carribbean: At Worlds End
- Rush Hour 3
- Shrek 3
- Spider-man 3
- The Golden Age (a.k.a Elizabeth 2)
- Alien Vs Predator 2
And there are plenty more to look out for. Ready your appetite, for these would keep you asking for more!!

Keep walking and be safe!!

;-))

Adieu 2006...

2006-12-28T15:10:00.000+11:00

The time is nearing when another year is drawing to a close in our lives. A year that was no less important for everyone. A lot of good and bad happened this year.

Here's a few which made headlines this year. Its a mix and in no specific order.

- Iraq continued to be bushy even this year. The death toll continued to rise and there is still no respite. Saddam has been sentenced to be hanged; he, however, is converting the sentence into a sacrifice.

- UN is tickling Iran with the "torn paper". But they seem not quite amused.

- Israel and Lebanon battled for a draw. Innocent lives were forgotten in the process and no side has any explanation left.

- The so called "London Terror Attack" brought in tougher airport rules. It is not easy to pass through Europe now a days.

- US elections made many smiley faces around.

- Crocodile hunter Steve Irvin passed away while doing what he loved the most. He will always be remembered.

- The geography of the universe changed with Pluto being outcast from the family of planets. Someone also found water on Mars. Yay!!

- Mumbai saw a 7/11 with train blasts bringing the city to a halt (around 200 people were killed). The real heroes were the people of the city who came all out to help each other from the tragedy. Kudos to their spirit!!

- The most anticipated baby (Shiloh) was born amidst speculation. Meanwhile, Tom & Katty decided to make matters more legal now!

- Britney was a huge news maker again. She gave birth to her second child, broke off with Kevin and became best of friends with Paris. Somewhere in between, she lost her sanity as well as her panties. In fact many celebrities lost theirs too this year!!

- World Cup Soccer was as thrilling as ever. No one would forget the Zidane's headbutt for Materazzi's Love!

And finally the best cartoons of the year (courtesy Time Magazine):

So, on a happy note, here's wishing you all a very Happy New Year.

Have a safe one!

Take care, see ya in 2007.

;-))

Merry Christmas...

2006-12-22T14:27:00.000+11:00

Here are some fun trivia about Christmas:

The abbreviation of Xmas for Christmas is not irreligious. The first letter of the word Christ in Greek is chi, which is identical to our X. Xmas was originally an ecclesiastical abbreviation that was used in tables and charts.

"Hot cockles" was a popular game at Christmas in medieval times. It was a game in which the other players took turns striking the blindfolded player, who had to guess the name of the person delivering each blow. "Hot cockles" was still a Christmas pastime until the Victorian era.

A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard.

According to a 1995 survey, 7 out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their doting owners

After "A Christmas Carol," Charles Dickens wrote several other Christmas stories, one each year, but none was as successful as the original.

An artificial spider and web are often included in the decorations on Ukrainian Christmas trees. A spider web found on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck.

At Christmas, Ukrainians prepare a traditional twelve-course meal. A family's youngest child watches through the window for the evening star to appear, a signal that the feast can begin.

Candy canes began as straight white sticks of sugar candy used to decorated the Christmas trees. A choirmaster at Cologne Cathedral decided have the ends bent to depict a shepherd's crook and he would pass them out to the children to keep them quiet during the services. It wasn't until about the 20th century that candy canes acquired their red stripes.

Christmas trees are edible. Many parts of pines, spruces, and firs can be eaten. The needles are a good source of vitamin C. Pine nuts, or pine cones, are also a good source of nutrition.

During the ancient 12-day Christmas celebration, the log burned was called the "Yule log." Sometimes a piece of the Yule log would be kept to kindle the fire the following winter, to ensure that the good luck carried on from year to year. The Yule log custom was handed down from the Druids.

During World War II it was necessary for Americans to mail Christmas gifts early for the troops in Europe to receive them in time. Merchants joined in the effort to remind the public to shop and mail early and the protracted shopping season was born.

In North America, children put stockings out at Christmas time. Their Dutch counterparts, however, use shoes. Dutch children set out shoes to receive gifts any time between mid-November and December 5, St. Nicholas' birthday.

In Syria, Christmas gifts are distributed by one of the Wise Men's camels. The gift-giving camel is said to have been the smallest one in the Wise Men's caravan.

It is a British Christmas tradition that a wish made while mixing the Christmas pudding will come true only if the ingredients are stirred in a clockwise direction.

La Befana, a kindly witch, rides a broomstick down the chimney to deliver toys into the stockings of Italian children. The legends say that Befana was sweeping her floors when the three Wise Men stopped and asked her to come to see the Baby Jesus. "No," she said, "I am too busy." Later, she changed her mind but it was too late. So, to this day, she goes out on Christmas Eve searching for the Holy Child, leaving gifts for the "holy child" in each household.

Long before it was used as a "kiss encourager" during the Christmas season, mistletoe had long been considered to have magic powers by Celtic and Teutonic peoples. It was said to have the ability to heal wounds and increase fertility. Celts hung mistletoe in their homes in order to bring themselves good luck and ward off evil spirits.

Mistletoe, a traditional Christmas symbol, was once revered by the early Britons. It was so sacred that it had to be cut with a golden sickle.

One Norwegian Christmas custom begins in late autumn at harvest time. The finest wheat is gathered and saved until Christmas. This wheat is then attached to poles made from tree branches, making perches for the birds. A large circle of snow is cleared away beneath each perch. According to the Norwegians, this provides a place for the birds to dance, which allows them to work up their appetites between meals. Just before sunset on Christmas Eve, the head of the household checks on the wheat in the yard. If a lot of sparrows are seen dining, it is suppose to indicate a good year for growing crops.

The modern Christmas custom of displaying a wreath on the front door of one's house, is borrowed from ancient Rome's New Year's celebrations. Romans wished each other "good health" by exchanging branches of evergreens. They called these gifts strenae after Strenia, the goddess of health. It became the custom to bend these branches into a ring and display them on doorways.

On that note, here's my hearty Christmas wishes to you and your family.

Wish you all a Merry Christmas & Be Safe!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

;-))

The First Bollywood Movie...

2006-12-14T17:31:00.000+11:00

Indian cinema had its major inception with Alam Ara, the first Indian talkie made by Ardeshir M. Irani. It was released on March 14, 1931 at Majestic Cinema in Bombay (Mumbai).

Its story revolved round a king and his two queens, Navbahaar and Dilbahaar, both childless. A fakir (sage) tells Navbahaar that she would be blessed with a son but he would survive after his 18th birthday only if the queen got hold of a necklace woven round the neck of a fish which would appear only once in the lake of the palace on that particular birthday of the Prince.

Navbahaar gets blessed with a son whom she names Qamar, while Dilbahaar loves senapati (army general) Adil, who resists her advances. Once while she is trying to seduce him, they are spotted by the king. Dilbahaar charges Adil with trying to molest her. An enraged king orders the arrest of Adil and evicts his pregnant wife, Mehar Nigar, from the palace. Mehar gives birth to a daughter who is named Alam Ara and dies after telling a shikari (hunter) everything about her husband. The shikari (hunter) brings up Alam Ara.

Qamar and Alam Ara grow up. Dilbahaar who is jealous of the other queen and knows about the condition pertaining to Qamar’s survival, replaces the actual necklace with a fake one when the fish appears on Qamar’s 18th birthday. Navbahaar fails to get the right necklace on the scheduled day which results in Qamar’s death. However, his family does not dispose of his body and starts looking for the fakir (sage) to know what had gone wrong. On the other end, when Alam Ara comes to know from the shikari (hunter) about the agony of her innocent father, she vows to secure his release from the jail.

Qamar’s body comes to life every night when Dilbahaar removes her necklace and becomes lifeless again when the queen wears it in the morning. Alam Ara, on one of her visits to the palace at night, finds Qamar alive and falls in love with him. Ultimately, everybody comes to know about Dilbhaar’s foulplay. Qamar’s family gets the right necklace. Adil is released and Qamar and Alam Ara live happily ever after.

The movie had seven songs. Only harmonium and table were used as musical support for the songs. Shooting the first talkie indeed proved to be a tough task for Irani who had earlier made some silent movies without any difficulty. Since there were no soundproof recording studios at that time, the film was shot at night behind closed doors to minimize the possibility of outside voices encroaching upon the film’s soundtrack. The microphone would be cleverly concealed somewhere around the actor.

The movie was a box office hit by the standards of those days. Sadly, there are no prints of the movie available now!

Have a nice weekend!!

;-))

Winds of Change...

2006-12-07T15:52:00.000+11:00

It was dark and holy night when the confessions were pouring out of the two hearts. The sadness and happiness were mixing the emotions. And in a serene moment there was one small rear ended song which changed everything! The song about the food which shakes the air in your guts!

I remember a famous date while I was in college. It seems this guy won the battle when he convinced the only girl in his department for a date. The notion of a date being to sit with her in a restaurant for a coffee and snacks.
On that great evening, some of his friends also went with him, to make sure the date is real. They sat near the table of the couple for a romantic view. It was a moment to remember for everyone - the gal, him and his friends.
Time stood still when the gal let out a little gas from the sinful lunch which she had at her hostel. He heard it and so did his friends. An hour later, the whole campus heard it.
I can still hear the echo of that little song!

Came across this concept - Fartology
DISHONEST FARTERS - they who fart and then blame the dog
FOOLISH FARTERS - they who keep their farts inside
PROMPT FARTERS - they who always have a fart ready
MISERABLE FARTERS - they who cannot fart
STRATEGIC FARTERS - they who fart and cough at the same time
CLEVER FARTERS - they who fart and cough at the same time
DISAPPOINTED FARTERS - those whose farts do not emit odour
ACUTE FARTERS - those whose fart smells indicate their recent diet
MEAN FARTERS - those who fart in bed and shake covers over spouse
VAIN FARTERS - they who love the smell of their own farts
AMIABLE FARTERS - they who love the smell of others farts
CONFIDENT FARTERS - they who let out really loud farts
SHY FARTERS - those who let out silent farts
SCIENTIFIC FARTERS - those who bottle their own farts
UNFORTUNATE FARTERS - those who start to fart but sh*t instead
NERVOUS FARTERS - those who stop in mid fart
HONEST FARTERS - they who confess to the fart
JEALOUS FARTERS - they who claim the farts of others
INSECURE FARTERS - they who compare their fart quality to others
THE FARTERS FARTER - those rare farters whose farts clear moving vehicles

How many times has the winds of change altered your situation?

Have a nice weekend!

;-))

A few Drops of Wisdom...

2006-11-28T18:50:00.000+11:00

I just managed to gather a few drops for your reading pleasure. It may not all be perfect and right to match upon who you are. However, there is a certain truth in each drop I feel!

o Struggle plus pain is beautiful: The beauty of a butterfly is the result of the pain it undergoes. It is said that when the butterfly breaks out of the cocoon, the pain it experiences is indescribable. The struggle it undergoes is what makes it so beautiful. But after the struggle and pain when the butterfly emerges from the cocoon, its wings spread out in grace and beauty. Life is beautiful when there is Struggle and Pain.

o Don't loose what you have: You never respect what you have till you loose them. It is a common notion to wait for the last minute to realize that who you had or what you had was what you always wanted. But then time would have passed and regret would only make you realize the mistake. It is one of the most expensive lessons of life to learn.

o The grass is always green on the other side: Sometimes you can never decide on which side of the fence you want to be. You keep flipping from one side to the other for a long time. After that you loose yourself trying to figure out which side you started off from. Time's up, the grass on either side has dried off!

o Love yourself before you Love others: You love someone very dearly and you tell that person that you belong to that person forever. You gift yourself to that person till eternity. What kind of a gift are you giving to someone who means so much to you? A gift which you yourself do not like! If you can't love yourself then you cannot love another. It is a pretentious infatuation.

o Fall but keep walking: If you succeed, you never look back to learn what you have gained. But every time you fail, you know what you lack and where you can improvise. A failure is a better gain than continuous success. A real person is one who has tasted success as well as failure.

o Time can heal if you want: After a hurt, the pain remains in the past. If you live with the time you can heal yourself. But you always want to live in your glorified past. The present is good and always better than the past but you always compare and make your future worse. Let go off those thats gone. Look ahead for times are changing!

o Ego is always lonely: The letter "I" which represent self is a lone alphabet and so is the reality. If you let the "I" rule you, then all you get is yourself. Nothing will stay with an egoistic person.

o Live everyday like its the last day: You wake up everyday and sulk at the most silliest reason and believe that its not your day. Every day is yours if you want it to be. The very fact that you are alive and healthy is the least of your concern. There are many who would be wishing today to be not their last!

o Acceptance is the beginning: It doesn't take much to accept who you are or what you have done. But too many threads are entangled for you to accept simple facts. If you accept you can move on otherwise you will slaved to one place in life!

o You are special: In some way there is something special about you. There cannot be another you. Wherever you are, the world and the universe bestows a certain respect on you. Feel it!!

Have a nice day!!

;-))

Perceptions...

2006-11-20T15:27:00.000+11:00

It is always the way we look at things that makes us different from one another. If everything was the same for everyone then probably the world would be too boring for all. Here's a picture of a box with a letter 'M' at its center. Lets see how each person might look at it. This is only my feeble attempt.

- Physics student: A box of mass M
- Egotist: Thats Me in a Box
- Little Kid: M for Mango. So mango in a box.
- Drunkard: M means More!! One More Peg please!!
- Business-man: Box full of Money!
- Nymphomaniac: Men Men Men!! Anything men will do!!!
- Preacher: The M is for the magic that is within yourself which is always the blessing of God.
- Cow: Mooo!
- Crooked Sage: Box of Marijuana. Path to Nirvana!!
- Smoker: Match Box?
- Idiot: M in a box. What is that? Huh?
- Boss: Hmm? Can someone look at this diagram and explain what it is all about?
- Minister: How dare you put me in a box?
- Software Engineer: A process by the name M.
- Model: M for Modeling, Mascara, Makeup!! Anything??
- James Bond: M has been kidnapped!
- Austin Powers: Mini Me has been kidnapped! Yeah baby!!

So what do you think about it??

Have a nice day!

;-))

Facts on Mallus...

2006-11-14T20:51:00.000+11:00

I have been wanting to write something about this special genre of people. So here's my first attempt at it.

Disclaimer: If you are a Mallu reading this and you find it offending, please consider my sense of humour to be very sad!

For the uninitiated, a Mallu (pronounced as 'Maa Loo'. No they don't add up to the meaning) is a denizen of the state of Kerala, India. A Mallu can also be someone who has roots associated with Kerala.

- It is not difficult to find a Mallu. You WILL bump into at least one of them in any part of the world. Their reach has been exaggerated to Mars also. I presume the Mars probe is yet to ascertain this data. But we can wait for that another time!

- A Mallu is always literate. It is very rare or there is a very good reason for a Mallu to be literally uneducated. In Kerala, you can see everyone probing the newspaper in the morning. A wonderful sight in many regards.

- Almost all the Mallus have mustaches. They have thick bushy ones!

- Most Mallus have curly locks lathed with coconut oil. They prefer it to anything else.

- Mallus use coconuts very extensively. They use the coconut water for a refreshing drink. They use grated coconut and coconut milk for cooking. They use the coir from coconut shells to make a good scrub or to burn them as fuel. They use coconut shells for burning or even as fancy containers. The fibers from the coconut tree is used to make ropes. And last not but least, they use coconut oil for cooking as well as for their body and hair!

- Every Mallu in this world will have at least one direct or indirect relation with someone in the Middle East. In fact, if you go to the Middle East you will find more Mallus than Arabs. In Kerala, the term Middle East (or Gulf as they call it) is the second most precious word in every house hold. The First one, of course, being God.

- An average Mallu eats rice at least five times a day. It starts with a morning breakfast of something made out of rice. There is a pre-lunch which is of rice in a liquid form called kengi (pronounced as 'ken G'). Then a fully fledged lunch of rice. There will be an afternoon tea with some snacks made out of rice. And then dinner of course will be based on rice.

- In Kerala, there are these local bars called Arrack. They are famous for Toddy (a fermented palm wine) and fried fish. A happy Mallu who comes out of an Arrack shop would head towards the nearest coconut tree for a healthy nap.

- A Mallu truck driver uses condoms for his truck. No, he is not sick in anyway! They are useful in a leaky radiator condition. In fact, there have been a very high sale of condoms on the Kerala highways.

- The association between Gold and Mallu is a very important aspect of their culture. A Mallu will have at least one thing of made of Gold on himself. They wear everything from Gold necklaces to Gold tooth. In certain sects of Kerala, honey is mixed with Gold coins and then touched on the lips of their new born. Another occasion where you see the glitter of Gold is during marriages. Sometimes the bride is covered from head to toe in Gold.

- Mallu film industry (commonly called Mollywood) has had only two super heros: Mohan-Lal and Mamooty (pronounce it as 'Ma Moo Tea'. Again, they don't add up to the meaning). They still run around the trees with actresses the age of their grand daughters. In most Mallu films the heroes wear mundus (a wrap-around). A common scene is a mundu-clad Mallu hero jumping above the camera so that the viewers get a glimpse of his colorful underwear. In one shot a group of men, wearing mundus came running towards the camera and jumped over it as part of a dance sequence. It was difficult to deny the rainbow effect of the same!!

- Another feat of Mollywood movies are their action sequences. No matter how much the tussle between the hero and the anti-hero, their mundus (mallu's wrap-around) never come away!

- A Mallu is very comfortable with his mundu (wrap-around). He wears one even while riding a bike or traveling in a congested bus. It has never happened where a gust of wind has done injustice to him.

- Mallus drink a lot of tea. There is a notion that if a crowd of Mallus gather at one place for any reason, someone will definitely open a tea stall nearby to make some business. In fact, most tea stalls in Kerala do a decent business.

- Most of the grocery stores outside Kerala are run by Mallus.

- The Mallu's language, Malayalam, is a considerably difficult language. Some of the words require one to twist and roll the tongue to get the appropriate pronunciation.

- Some successful Mallus are very showy. Their show of money and pride is literally too much to affect others. In one such incident a rich successful Mallu decided to start using chopsticks during a celebration dinner. The first attempt in show sent one of the sticks to the eyes of a beautiful French lady sitting nearby. Don't worry, the French lady recovered in a few months and is still as beautiful. However, that showy Mallu is still out there showing something else!!

To conclude, Mallus are very nice people. They are very helpful and understanding! If you doubt that, do visit Kerala, India and experience it yourself. I would add another disclaimer to my earlier statement - bad apples are always there in any lot!!

Have a nice day!!

;-))

Oh My Boss - Part III

2006-11-06T21:41:00.000+11:00

Moving on from understanding what is Boss-ism, the next and last aspect for coping with it is to get an idea of the Donts. It is imperative for one to know what should not be done than what can be done!

So in a nut shell, try to follow these Don ts and carry on with any other Dos.

- Don't ask questions. It will come back as more questions to you.
- Don't raise issues. You will be asked to volunteer to fix them.
- Don't show your efficiency. It will come back with double the expectation.
- Don't complete your work on time. It will only prove that you are less efficient.
- Don't sit quiet in any meeting. It will be viewed as your agreement to whatever he says.
- Don't show your passion and commitment. It will be used to make you the company role model. Following days, you along with others might curse yourself.
- Don't compare his judgment. It will considered as an appraisal of his incapabilities.
- Don't make him your lunch buddy. In the end you will be dumped with your sad salad.
- Don't forward him jokes. It will be viewed as a violation of some unseen company policies. However, do enjoy the jokes he forwards.
- Don't reply to his jokes. It will presumed that you are unemployed or less utilized.
- Don't forward him any unread emails. He will get back with out of the world questions.
- Don't ever come on any weekends. It will only make your availability very lucid.
- Don't give him your personal contact information. You will get every possible call from him in the coming days.
- Don't give a direct NO. Flavor it in a nice way or else it will considered as a very huge negative.
- Don't ask for a hike. You will never get what was coming your way!

And last but not least, don't let him boss you! Be your own boss!

Have a nice day!

;-))

Oh My Boss - Part II

2006-10-25T17:48:00.000+11:00

When you are dealing with you boss, there is a term which you need to accept. It is called Boss-ism. In that world, there terms may not mean as it sounds.
There are terms which you have to learn to cope up with Boss-ism.

- Heads up: raise your head and listen to the voice "you will be screwed". Please clean up your loins.
- FYI: please read the forwarded content carefully. The sender has not read it for sure.
- COB/EOD: supposed to be Close of Business or End of Day, but map it when he is done for the day!
- Passion: how much is your attachment to work?
- Edge: you are not living on it.
- Effort: whatever you put in by staying late night. An extra effort would be whatever you put in during the weekend.
- Contribution: whatever you have done is now visible for them. If it is not visible you haven't done anything.
- Teamwork: getting screwed together.
- Status Report: prepare a Eulogy for yourself!
- Prioritize: to sort things in the ascending order of whatever causes his ass to be on fire.
- High priority: something which is literally scorching his sweet "cheeks".
- Process: the new set of commandments.
- Compliance: follow his understanding of the rules.
- Process Compliance: a nice screen saver for others when you work!
- DeBrief: your boss will not show you his french underwear. There is more crap to whatever happened.
- Appraisal: you will see your manipulated past and an uncertain future.
- One-on-One: you will get a chance to show your disgust to your Boss and everything you say will be considered.
- Recognition: welcome to the most wanted list!
- Lets meet and discuss: whatever you say will not be considered.
- The ball is in your court: you are dead.
- Stretch: time to get your blanket and tooth brush to work.
- In my experience...: whatever follows is pure 100% bull shit.
- I frankly believe...: whatever follows are synonyms
- Let me get back to you: you can wait for a long time.
- Your invaluable contribution...: you must lookup for the term "fart" in your dictionary.
- I am being honest here...: close your eyes and assume the best joke you have ever heard.

So move on with the basic understanding of living in the world of Boss-ism!!

To be continued...

;-))

Oh My Boss - I

2006-10-17T17:38:00.000+11:00

I remember my first brush with the term Boss when I was in school. My friends taught me it meant Brother Of Sexy Sisters. I met a few of them too. That was a long time ago!!

Over the past few years I have realized that Boss is not actually a brother. They don’t have sexy sisters either. In fact, one of my ex-colleagues had christened his Boss as Bitch. Now keep in mind, the person he referred to was not female.

Typically a person works hard to climb up the ladder of success. Sometimes the ladder is a misnomer for the back of people. Finally, at the top, after confirmation, the person becomes boss; a god in his own terms.

From working to getting the work done is an over night transition. In many instances, people change once they move into a personal cabin. They somehow become very powerful. And many use their power even outside office to get work done. You must have forgotten that meek colleague who had to take time off his busy schedule to fix the gas connection and the leaky commode for his boss.

Usually, before the Boss-hood, the person is a smart/hard worker. There after he looses his smartness. He wants to get the project done even though technically it’s not feasible. He would want it done end of day; it is possible that he may forget what he actually wants by the end of the day. His primary task reduces to forwarding emails and conducting meetings.

He will forward you the email which you might have received earlier. Most of the communication will be prefixed with FYI (For Your Information) or FYNA (For Your Notice & Action), FYE (For Your Edification), and many more. Many times if you send him a question, his response might be a forward of another email. There have been instances where the Boss forwards the same email with some content modified. Even though it might be difficult, you have to read through it. Of course, not to forget those motivation emails he forwards to keep you alive!! And if he is managing multiple teams, don’t be surprised to see an appreciation email for a work which you didn’t do.

And yes, meetings! That’s where you can see his prowess. He can confuse the whole meeting in a seamless manner where time hates to stand still. By the end of it you realize that the whole agenda of the meeting was lost somewhere between his empty head and the precious moments of life. His job must be done for the day, but yours might have just started. Don’t loose hope, someday you can become him and take revenge on the world!

Another thing he is good at is walking all over the place. He might not be health conscious but you will see him walking a lot. At times he might do a peek-a-boo on you. Don't consider it as a sweet joke. For all you know, he must have been spying on what you are actually doing. There have been instances where a Boss had requested for all the emails from his team to be going through him. Next time, when you forward that nude picture of Pamela Anderson, you are doing someone a big favor. Give the man a break; he is trying to do something useful with his life.

Don’t worry too much on what you have to face. It might be a good learning point for the next level in your career.

To be continued...

;-))

So Many...

2006-10-13T19:09:00.000+11:00

There are so many emotions which never come out of the heart.

There are so many words which remain unheard.

There are so many thoughts which can never be shown out.

There are so many bonds which are betrayed everyday.

There are so many flickering hopes which are killed.

There are so many dreams which are beautiful.

There are so many tears which dry without being wiped.

There are so many curses for one mistake.

There are so many vices to satisfy one ego.

And yet, life moves on!!

Have a nice weekend

;-))

Choices

2006-10-09T15:42:00.000+11:00

An ideal Life is beautiful as long as there is a 100%percent realization of expectations. But no Life can be ideal. Anything less is not good or too bad to screw up all the gathered happiness.

The choice to accept the smallest success and be happy is with you.

The choice also to accept the smallest failure and loose everything is with you.

More often than others, people tend to brood over than be happy with the minimum of things. For many, the fact that they were defeated and that they are sad / depressed is an accomplishment. They think they are great people by subjecting themselves to self suffering and depression.

You can never be happy if you want to be sad and you can never be sad if you don't want to be happy.

The choice is always yours!! Make the right one for yourself.

Have a nice week ahead!

;-))

Paranoia Strikes...

2006-10-03T20:06:00.000+11:00

Amidst the terrorist strikes and threats, there is a growing concern among the global citizens now. It is more related to paranoia. Every activity is now looked upon in such a suspicious manner. Consider for example this incident. There is no fault of the person but it is just a few people’s baseless suspicion.

Shouldn’t the authorities take the responsibility of bearing the suspicion?

At this rate, every individual who is not comfortable with another person would have an upper hand. It is a good opportunity for racists to hit upon those who they hate.

The terrorists may not have succeeded in destroying lives but they certainly have built walls between people.

Hope we can bring down these walls someday!!

Being Ugly...

2006-09-26T17:04:00.000+10:00

[Warning: Highly Cranky]

It is so easy to easy to kiss and tell the world that you are not concerned with looks and the visual appeal. In fact, those words come out easily because they are lies. Only lies can come out smoother than honey, the truth on the other hand is like constipation on a bad day!

There are so many faces out there and people look at only a few. The rest are just ugly ones or rather as some put it, “not my type”. Now that’s the birth of a new species called “Ugly”. It would have been better that along with sex detection, if parents could also check on the Ugliness factor. If it’s more than 5 on a scale of 10, (10 being the ugliest and 1 being the pretties), the baby can be bid goodbye! At least, the person borne out of that baby doesn’t have to become a part of that species. And the world won’t have to worry about ugliness anymore!

Sometimes even love is so segregated. All the love and emotion is behind closed doors. However, when the world’s eye falls on them, the prettier one would step up a gap with the uglier one. That’s possibly because the prettier one is more conscious of the world than then uglier one!

Possibly if God had given eyes for a different purpose it would have been so much better. Won’t it be amazing if people could see the beauty of the person more from inside? Won’t it be delightful to applaud the soul of a person than a powder puffed skin? But wait a minute, who wants all that?? After all ignorance is bliss!

So, the ugly one just wakes up every day to hear the myriad voices of the world. With time, those voices become a part of life. Slowly, the ugly one becomes numb to everything. Life becomes very simple and straight forward!!

Is life Ugly? Nope!!

Are You Ugly? Oh look, its time to sneer!!

;-))

Chedis...

2006-09-22T18:49:00.000+10:00

The term Chedis was new when I first joined college. But within a few days, it became a common name for every midnight rendezvous. There was no occasion to visit the place but there are numerous excuses to go there for a simple tea and smoke.

Chedis is a small 24 hour open restaurant just outside the college campus. Calling it a restaurant would be too much, but that's the closest I can infer. From the hostel where I stayed, it is less than five minutes walk and just about a minute on a bicycle. It is located next to a railway track on which trains and goods wagons run regularly.

Structurally, it is more like a shack with thatched roof and mud clad walls. The place is small enough to just hold the cook, cashier and some people who are ordering / paying. In fact, the kitchen is segregated by a wall of dry palm leaves. There is no electricity in that place. It runs solely on kerosene for everything from night lamps to the cooking stove. At night, some floor space is reserved for the people who get zonked off by some special beverages (country liquor). So at night, one has to careful when walking inside the shack.

The seating arrangement is outside. A few chairs and benches strewn around the place. During rainy season a make shift roof with a plastic sheet is constructed. But most of the time when it rains, people try and finish off whatever they ordered and scoot. Also, when the trains are passing by, it is recommended to hold onto the table and vacant chairs; otherwise they might go somewhere else.

The food covers most of the basic stuff. I have never enquired for the complete menu. One favorite for the place is a delicacy called Tinku. It is kind of an egg burger with a special mix of spices. The ingredient is, in fact, a trademark and a trade secret. The owner sells the mix of spices as Tinku-masala. Many have made unsuccessful attempts to reverse engineer it. For most people, it is always Tinku and Tea. The owner has a strict no against drugs. He sells cigarettes but he never allows anyone to have drugs in his area.

There is no special treatment for anyone. The serving methodology is pretty rude, but it works for them. The so called waiter would serve upto ten glasses of tea(without using a tray) in one shot. Except for his fingers dipping in the tea glasses at times, there is no complaint from any customer. When he gets all the plates of food together, some stuff might get interchanged, but for the price, no one has any issue. He works all throughout the year even if he is sick. In my four years in college, I have never seen him on leave or vacation. His added responsibility is to chase wandering cows/dogs who come once in a while, unexpected and uninvited.

Another special service they offer is to break the locks of your bicycle in case you loose your key. It happens many times at night when guys go in there for a quick bite and loose their keys in the dark. Once they were breaking the lock of the wrong bicycle. The guy who complained, pointed them to the wrong bicycle. By the time the victim bicycle's owner realized, the damage was already done!

It is a place which has seen all kinds of people. They all sit next to each other and order and eat the same thing. I have never seen a distinction of caste, religion, sex or skin color there. And it still exists in isolation in a corner of this world, serving to everyone and anyone!

Have a nice weekend!!!

;-))

Thought Bubbles…

2006-09-18T16:05:00.000+10:00

Ever imagined what a bunch of people walking on the street might be thinking? Here’s my stab on a few…

A family of four (small boy, a teenage girl, husband and wife) standing at the bus stop.
Small boy: Vanilla or strawberry? Both taste good.
Teenage Girl: Oh my god!! He’s going to do it tomorrow! I am so excited!!
Husband: She will be wearing that hot dress!! I have to be careful unlike last time.
Wife: Mrs. John is so stupid to sleep with that man! She will be in big trouble soon.

A cabbie driver gawking at a lady in short skirt:
Cabbie Driver: Oh mama!! I can stare at those forever. I don’t know why Jenny cannot be a little self conscious!
Lady: Look all you want, but these are only for display for you!

An old man with his wife on his old scooter:
Old Man: Twenty five years and nothing ever seems to change.
His Wife: Twenty five years and still this rotten vehicle
Old Scooter: Thirty five years and still no luck on the carburetor!!

Two munching cows in the middle of the road:
Cow #1: The grass is green on the other side.
Cow#2: shut up and finish your lunch. We will think about it later.

A dog trying to cross the road:
Dog: To be or not to be?

A sage sitting on the pavement with his Godly pictures:
Sage: Oooh!! That last drag was good! Need to save some for tomorrow

A dude in his hot car with his lady:
Dude: Dumb bitch! She just wants to sit and drive around and shop all day. My ex was better; she would let me near her.
Lady: nice car, lots of goodies, non-stop cash flow and an ok-looking guy! What more can I ask for? Hello there…

A hot lass with a PDA standing near an office:
Lass: which button to press next? Aw crap!!

A Software engineer on his bike:
Software Engineer: I am late. I am late. I am late. She will be online waiting for me. Damn traffic!!

A couple sitting in a car. The man is at the steering and the woman is putting makeup on her face.
Man: You are beautiful, You are beautiful... It's true!! Oh thats pathetic!!!
Woman:

Have a nice day!!!
;-))

How would it be If...

2006-09-13T19:31:00.000+10:00

Your life completes a full circle
You come into the cold world from the warmth of a womb
You see the world as a baby for the first time
You take your first baby step into a larger world
You grow as a learning child
You become the problematic teen
You mature as a person
You live life till a threshold
You age till the reversal of your life time
You loose your maturity as a person
You become a teen again with the same problems
You unlearn everything as a child
You take your last step as a baby towards the final end
You see the world for one last time as an infant
You go back into the warmth of the womb
Your life extinguishes as a passionate climax!

;-))

Dr. Green

2006-09-07T16:41:00.000+10:00

I am green.
I am not fine when there is no one around.
I stay within every man and woman.
I am born into them.
I get nurtured by a few of my friends – insecurity, ego and doubt.
I ally with the ego at times to make things worse.
I get every message without fail from doubt.
I feed on insecurity.
I can destroy any relationship.
I can break any bond.
I have every power to be at par with the soul.
I know how to control the heart and mind.
I fill the heart with pain and anger when needed.
I cloud every logic and reasoning at the perfect time.
I make the enemies the best friend.
I protect those failures.
I can show the back-stab for success.
I am the solution for every problem.
I am indestructible.

;-))

Around Life...

2006-08-30T19:19:00.000+10:00

I was lying on the cold floor. My head was feeling light with no running thoughts, though my heart was getting heavier with every beat. The stars above me were glistening as ever. They looked just the same.

I was in the balcony wondering where I went wrong with her. It was one of those confusing moments when reasoning crucified emotions. The tussle between the over intelligent mind and the over zealous heart is a tough one to crack. I didn’t want to believe the used condom packet in the bin. There were a million ways in which I could have believed it to be mine, but I had a heavy head.

“I am getting into bed”, she said.

I turned around with a questioning look. She was puzzled by my gaze.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing! I will get in a while”, I told her and turned around. I heard a small murmur which sounder like “whatever”.

Gone were the days when we used to have a goodnight ceremony of hugs and kisses. There were no more promises of waking up on a tomorrow to have a better day. I didn't know where we lost each other. The untrustworthy and insecurity accusations had been lathed on me. They were never self created.

I woke up and found her talking on the phone early morning. The balcony door was open. She realized I was awake when I reached the bathroom door and then balcony door closed up religiously. There was no strength to think after a sleepless night.

I dropped her to the office and turned around the block towards mine. The old sage sitting at the corner saw me, as always. He shook his head with his hands. It was different from his usual expression of pointing to me as thought something was stuck on my back. But this new expression was unintelligible. I wanted to think about it as a new puzzle. It ran in the background as I reached my office; the place where my half life existed.

After a few hours in the office, I decided to call it a day. It was pointless to work when the mind is astray. I told my shocked boss I will be on leave for a few days and went out. It was early afternoon and I felt weird to be outside of my cubicle. I was seeing the afternoon sun after ages because on weekdays I am too engrossed in work and on weekends I am asleep. I felt the heat on my skin and was tempted to sit on the balcony of home; a term which was loosing its meaning.

I reached home very early after a long time. It was a dizzy feel to reach the apartment door from office on a day when I was not sick or fired from my job. I opened the door and the silence of the place pounced on me. It was a serene feeling for a small moment and then a faint sound broke the peace. The oddity of the voices made me close the door very slowly. I walked in towards the source of the sound. I couldn’t believe where my foot was taking me. The bedroom door was ajar and I saw her making the deepest expression of love to another man; a friend. I stood there blinded by the reality of my crumbling life.

There was no point in interrupting someone’s love; it was not mine anymore. I walked out of that apartment and went on to the roof top. The usual corner was comfortable for me and I sat on there for a long time. Myriad voices and thoughts ran inside me but I was too numb to react to any of them. There was no pain or zest anymore. Everything looked crisp and clear. The city lights had come on. It was time for me to leave. I leapt off my comfort place hoping for another life to make things right.

;-))

Funny Shop names...

2006-08-28T15:02:00.000+10:00

While traveling anywhere, there is one interesting thing I always tend to do; reading sign boards and shop names. Especially in India, there are some memorable and funny ones which are quite unforgettable. People write these funny lines with so much passion and seriousness that I can’t certainly deny their right of being judgmental.

I remember passing through a dhaba (highway restaurant) called “10% discount dhaba”. We got down and had our grub there, assuming there will be discount on the food. It was only during bill payment that we realized it was the name and meant nothing.

Near the city railway station, the lawfulness of public urination is obscured. I remember seeing a wall marked with the words, “Urination shall be prosecuted”. So there is no fine for whoever passed on the nature’s call. There was another one written “Please do not urien hear and thear”, after all here and there is just differentiated by a “t”. At another place there was a wonderful line written, “Man woman no urine here. Dog, cow and all four legs excused”. Isn’t that polite?

When I was roaming around in Delhi, I came to know of the term “Needs Corner”. It usually refers to a store which sells basic items. I wasn’t aware of it much till I saw a shop named “Anu Needs Corner”. It was written in bold and red. And when driving to shimla (a hill station) I saw a restaurant named “BrakeFast”. The owner was definitely smart; if that’s what he intended. Another catchy one was a small electronics repair shop with the name as “The Electroniscsesc Shop”. It looked like the guy tried desperately to spell it right.

In this IT city, there are certain corners which has an amazing collection of names and sentences. Here are a few:

A chicken shop’s name: “www.CHICKEN.com”

Door sign for ladies toilet: “Toilate Leadis Only”

A restaurant’s punch like: “Tasty Foodly Delecious”

Another restaurant: “Seaside: Goan Home Cousin”. Obviously the cuisine was from Goa.

One more restaurant: “Continental, Chinese and Indian Cousin: A Well Stokes Unique Bar To MakeFriends”. The last word was the result of shortage of space on the sign board.

A meat shop’s list of things they sell: “Pig Mutton Balls, Chicken Lally pup, Full Legs, Boneless brest and boneless thighs”.

A saloon’s bill board read: “Barber Parlour – Close Shave, London Japan Hair Style”. I never went in there.

Behind an auto rickshaw: “Jesus Coom mein soon!!” There was nothing religious about it.

Notice at the door of a bar: “Newshance makars will be vekated this place”. The message was clear!

Graffiti on a car: “Bornd to Win”. Not sure on if the owner meant bond or born or a combination.

Another meat shop menu: “Fresh, Ham, Bacon, Salami, Cocktail, Frank, Farters”. The last one was supposedly frankfurters; hopefully!!

A copier shop: “Xerox Shop: Available in all languages”

And the best of all which I saw recently, was that of a new parlor opening up. They put up a board as “New Star Parlor. Opening Shortly!!” And right next to it, there was another board which read, “Wanted: beauticians and parlor girls.”. Needless to say, the business approach was quite unquestionable.

Have a nice week ahead!!

;-))

Trust is...

2006-08-24T15:57:00.000+10:00

A wordless conversation between best friends
A silent emotion between the parent and child
A faith to walk blindfold in love
A blessing to stay alive in adversity
A thin thread in a deranged relationship
A search for the light at the end of the tunnel
A strength to live everyday with someone
A prayer without expectation
A line between two nations
A book of knowledge from the teacher

It takes so much time to build a simple thing as trust. It is so powerful and yet so fragile. It doesn’t take moment to break a trust and rebuilding trust doesn’t exist in this world. Even if you do rebuild your trust with someone, the scars of where and how it broke will always remain distinct!

Don’t give your trust to everyone. And don’t ever break a trust!

;-))

Everything Happens for a reason...

2006-08-21T14:51:00.000+10:00

Everything in life happens for a reason. But rarely do we think on that. Either we are too depressed and upset by the bad or too happy and elated with the good. When was the last time when you said that everything happened for a reason!

I believe life is a puzzle. Every piece fits in slowly and meticulously. You do not have a choice in deciding which can be fit and which cannot be fit. Sometimes certain pieces will not be of your own liking. But when other pieces come in, you will realize the importance of those certain pieces.

Don’t get bogged down by the grind of life. Whenever you feel low, compare yourself to the enormity of the universe. I was reading about the new planets in our solar system. There was a comparison on the size of Earth with Jupiter and Saturn. Man, we are really tiny in comparison with that! Then just consider our problems! I am sure the guy who runs the universe business certainly has much bigger responsibilities!

I won’t say don’t get upset or become sad. You have every right to do that. After all free will is something which even God cannot question! But end of the day, live life to the fullest!

On that note, have a great week ahead!!

;-))

Life is beautiful...

2006-08-17T13:32:00.000+10:00

Life is as beautiful as it can be and there are so many wonderful things we can do. And how many times do we try to do even one of those?

- Running across the meadows like a wind

- Jumping down the waterfall into the depths below

- Swimming through the deep blue sea

- Lazing in a hammock all day long

- Lying down on the roof top and staring at the stars

- Trekking up the tallest hillock and wiping the sweat in a cool breeze

- Relishing your favorite food at home.

- Cuddling up in a blanket and watching the rain

- Bunking an important meeting/class to catch up the first day first show of your favorite movie.

- Sitting in the winter sun and sipping hot mocha.

- Climbing up the tallest tree.

- Dancing away to music

- Shouting and listening to your voice in the valley

Share on what you want to do on a beautiful day of your beautiful life

tears...

2006-08-09T18:00:00.000+10:00

... She looked aside and looked down. Beads of tears rolled down her cheeks and my heart broke into a million pieces...

How powerful are these tears which pierces your heart like an arrow?

;-))

Date Notes - III

2006-08-04T19:16:00.000+10:00

Continuing on the Date Notes series, here’s the third installment which looks at the general aspects. There are numerous aspects which can go right or very wrong. So, here’s a bunch of them.

Things can go absolutely wrong:
1. The lady from Venus caught you staring at her biological/artificial mammary glands. That’s one moment, when even God looks the other way and goes… “La La La…”
2. You are caught looking at someone else who in fact is indeed really “Hot”. Some laws of nature cannot be broken and some excuses can never be formed.
3. “I am a virgin”. Such a self-proclamation is only for your mama. So don’t even try to be modest.
4. “You remind me of someone”. Never ever use your date to brush your memory.
5. The food you ordered just initiated some methane production in your tummy. Stick to what you are comfortable unless you want to compose music from down south!
6. “You can order anything, I am paying”. That kind of ego should be sealed tight in your pants or up-skirts.
7. “You have a great body”. Cheesy and risky!
8. Your ex is just sitting at the next table or somewhere nearby and preparing to attack. That’s destiny. Just look up and find a reason for the chandelier to fall on your ex.
9. You friend drops by unannounced and confirms your date is indeed very “HOT”. Anyone carrying a gun tonight?
10. The manager comes and tells you that all of your card(s) is/are expired or not working. Now that’s something very political. You can find umpteen reasons to sue.
11. You and your date end up wearing the same colored clothes. Cute? For others!!
12. You and your date bump into your one night stand friend. – mama mia!! Look its superman flying without clothes!
13. You get the most expensive champagne and your date trips the bottle off the table. Call your lawyer!
14. Just like a holy night, it was silent night too. Looks like your date is a silent person. The only audible sound being that breathing, drinking and eating or occasional acknowledgments.

Things can be perfect too:
1. Your simple bouquet of flowers wrapped around a napkin is well admired. Some simple things of life are indeed beautiful.
2. “The time went past in a whiz and I didn’t even realize. You must certainly be interesting!”. Certainly the chemistry is good.
3. The band dedicates a song for you and your date for being the best looking couple in the place.
4. Your date's ride back has run into some trouble. Luck and fate is on your side. Use it wisely.
5. It turns out to be a full moon night and you end up having a long walk in the cool summer breeze! Anyone would remember it as a night forever!
6. The movie had some unexpected scary scenes and your date needed your help to get through it. Now isn’t that a good choice of movies.
7. You and your date are so visibly engrossed; you get a complimentary bottle of wine.
8. When you reach home and admire those flowers, you find a little note tucked in between the petals – “If you have found this note, then I guess you like these flowers. I would love to hear from you again!”

No date may be the perfect or the best. Some remain forever and others pass on as another one! End of the day, you can never regret the chance of getting to know another person!

Have a great weekend!!

Date Notes - II

2006-07-31T20:28:00.000+10:00

Finally, after another hectic week and weekend, I finally got sometime today to jot down a few thoughts. I want to continue the three part series of Date Notes. So here it is; this time, the perspective from Venus.

It is not easy for a lady from Venus to handle a genuine situation of meeting a Martian. I am not considering those aspects of a lady who is numb to dating.

How a lady prepares for “the” day??
1. “S for Shopping”
1.1. A new outfit. So pick up the best in town to make that lasting impression. It may cover most part of the body or could even leave an explosion in some corner of “his” head.
1.2 What is inside? Perk up the lingerie collection to make everything new. For those who wish to carry the date to the next level, this could be “the” focal point.
1.3 A Bag? Something that she carries has to match the outfit. The criteria being that it should be able to hold most of the seemingly “unwanted things”.
1.4. A new pair of shoes is a “why not”. This is for most part the “weapon of his destruction” if anything goes wrong with the guy. It cannot be used for running!
1.5. A tiny piece of jewelry is recommended. Unless she wants to exceed all level of sophistication and show, this is mostly a midway subject.
1.6. Smell to remember. A perfume can be expensive but then, “he” will remember it for the rest of “his” life. The smell will remind “him” of “her” no matter which “she” “he” is with.

2. “P for Parlor”.
2.1. Threading - Remove those unwanted hair to avoid an “almost Martian” look.
2.2 Facial & cleanup – Don’t forget to removes those white & black heads. Massage, polish and garnish for a look that will make you "glow".
2.3. Hair setup – Remove those split ends and straighten or curl them up. Color your hair if you want to. But then for the unlucky ones, coloring is mandatory to cover up your ageless grays.
2.4 Manicure – make those pretty ladies talk to “him”. Clean them up and color them to match your dress. A passionate red is always recommended. It is catchy and will ignite “him” anytime.
2.5. Pedicure – “he” will never miss them. So chop and color up with another matching point for the dress.
2.6. Botox – for those unlucky ones, this is the time machine to rewind twenty years.

3. “G for Getting Ready”
3.1. The outfit is carefully laid out and the associated items are kept ready. Even the makeup shades are kept in order.
3.2. Any lady cannot avoid a beauty bath. It’s a secret ritual to initiate transmogrification.
3.3. Slip, slide or squeeze into the outfit and make critical observations for atleast half an hour.
3.4. Add a few touches to your hair. Don't overdo to spoil it.
3.5 Make up makes the next hour or so. Hard to describe the process but it’s mostly an artist at work with bristles on skin.
3.6. Drown yourself in the new perfume which will keep “his” memory alive of you.
3.7. Fill in the little bag with some IOIs (Items of Interest). The usage of those items would defeat the purpose of "bag".
3.8. Add a few final touches to your hair.
3.8. Hop into the new shoes and fly.
3.9. Not necessary, but if needed, lie to anyone who asks the question “where to”.

From "the day" to "the moment":
1. The whole process of promoting Venus took a longer than anticipated; hence it spilled onto the designated date window timeline. In a nut shell, you are running late to meet “him”. Not to worry, for “him” time will stop when “he” sees you!
2. Apology is not needed but worth a mention. There are umpteen reasons for you to be late. But in case, “he” is also late, then never hesitate to blame “him”.
3. Peck if needed, hug if worth caring or otherwise just smile and be happy.
4. Walk and sit without worry. The door will magically open and the chair will automatically slide into place. If they don't, you know what to do next!
5. Wait for him to start a conversation. Never start one!
6. Play with your hair and show your new nails. Basically, keep "him" alive!
7. Bite your lips in between to keep “him” breathing.
8. Order less but expensive to respect “his” economy and honor your body. Don’t worry about the bill; it will never reach you.
9. Always be flamboyant of your “ex”, its fun to make him a little jealous or set some expectations!
10. Never give all the information. Keep “him” guessing and flip the page.
11. Excuse yourself to the ladies room to ponder on some thoughts that you got about “him”. Use the time to do some re-touch on the make up, hair and outfit. This is also the time to decide on whether to go forward with this Martian or dump him. It can also be used as a good escape point, in case the Martian turned out to be a “disaster”.
12. Never stare at “him” or prove your desperation unless you want to. You have all the advantage over “him”.
13. You get to decide when to end the date and go. Don’t leave the choice to “him”.
14. If you like “him”, tell “him” to drop you or else tell “him” to drop off.
15. Never decide on the next date. Wait for the moment; “he” will pop the question! This happens in most cases.
16. The final moment is at your doorstep. A peck is a nice “probably, see you again” gesture. A simple kiss is “I liked the date” emotion. A deep kiss is “I want you now and we will think later” desire. And a nodding smile is usually, “Goodbye”! If you are alone at your doorstep, then this is where your escape point ends!

Have a nice time!!!

;-))

Date Notes - I

2006-07-26T20:43:00.000+10:00

Every guy dreams of being the gentleman in front of his woman, or his to be woman, or the “women” he wants to be his. Even with the best rehearsal and practice, all the lines, manners, postures, jokes, smiles goes wary when “she” or “they” come in front. Something about this species from Venus, a very non-definitive force which can smell plans inside Martians and spoil them.

So what does a guy do when he is preparing to meet “the” or “a” lady for the first time?
1. Get a good outfit. Usually, it’s washed jeans and an ironed t-shirt or shirt. Sometimes, he ends up borrowing it from his good friend.
2. Good smell is a must. For some, it’s the first time that he buys a cologne or perfume. And for some, it’s a matter of borrowing it from your elders or friends. After all, it’s an unclear investment.
3. Cleanliness is recommended. Finally, he decides to shave with a new razor and take a good bath. For some, this is “the” session of cleanliness. It could be the beginning or the end of an ordeal.
4. Gift or flowers?? It’s a judgmental call and is dependent, for some, on the financial situation. Why buy an expensive gift if there is no future? Anyway, she won’t return it back.
5. Cover your dirty feet. He decides to wear shoes. If there is nothing good, always borrow it from a Good Samaritan.
6. Carry some money or a valid card. He will pay for the edible items which she consumes with him. It is the first time he feels his ego.
7. What to say? This is where friends and family comes in handy. Good liners and jokes are fed into the upper compartment; hopeful of the usage.

Now the “actual” day when he has to meet the “she”…
1. No time sense. Got late by taking the wrong bus or forgot to fill in gas and stopped mid way!!
2. Reached early and got frustrated of her coming late. Always remember, she will come only 15 to 20mins later than the designated time.
3. Timing was perfect but then out of words because of the shock of seeing her so quickly. Always breathe, no matter what happens!
4. At the table, you end up gawking into her mouth. Come on! always give the lady a little room to be comfortable with you.
5. Trying to be Don Juan. The first rule in front of anyone from Venus is to be you. They have these special detectors to find out if you are being pretentious.
6. A serious talker or too many jokes. Its not funny if you are the only one laughing at your jokes and neither is this a job interview.
7. Be courteous. Always open the door for the lady. Walk beside her and not behind her. And more importantly, don’t keep any reservations on anything.
8. Trying to open too many locks. You can’t find out everything about her. Keep some mystery on yourself too rather than being an open book. It’s the best way to keep the odds on your side.
9. Being desperate. That’s the last thing you want to be in front of a lady!
10. And last but not least, don’t even think on any anatomical aspects of the person in front of you. They can smell your intentions off in a second. So, keep you manhood within those jeans; preferably on a leash!

Have a good time!!!

;-))

Things on the road!!!

2006-07-24T13:23:00.000+10:00

Over the weekend, when I was moving around for my chores, I couldn't help notice and keep track of all the things I saw on the roads here. Its not just people and vehicles; there are more to it. Let me try and list them:

VEHICLES:

1. Cars - everything from small to large to SUVs and also MUVs. Some occupy half the road.
2. Bikes - models from the independence days to the imported ones.
3. Lunas – Something like a bicycle fitted with a motor. It can run on anything including kerosene.
4. Scooters – all models including those from the independence days.
5. Bicycles – with pillions and some laden with different kinds of baggage.
6. Auto-rickshaws – the local cab service. These have three wheels and can navigate easily even through the Grand Canyons.
7. Buses – The local bus service. The drivers are licensed to kill and its better to stay out of their way. In fact up to two kills, they are can go free. More than that, they might have to pay some fine, but it’s negotiable.
8. Trucks – They carry anything from construction materials to cows to LPG cylinders to beverages.
9. Tractors – They have left agriculture and find use in local transportation at times.
10. Matadors – These are minivans used to transport people over short distances.
11. Bullock carts – Of course, they still exist and are operating at a considerable level for commercial purposes.
12. Horse cart – A rare sight, but they are present at a few places.

LIVE PRESENCE:
1. Jay walkers – Available at large; includes children, matured people and even older ones. Dogs have also joined the club recently.
2. Dogs – Yes they have migrated from the forests into the cities. At night, they move around in packs and have known to attack humans too.
3. Cows/Bulls – They are the cool dudes. No matter how thick the traffic or what the weather, they are relaxed and oblivious to the surroundings.
4. Horses – These have retired from the turf and are living an isolated life in corners of the city.
5. Begging pundits – These are people experienced in the trade. If you watch them closely, you can see their different shades. The same person would be visible as a pregnant girl, a destitute lady with a child, a messenger from God, a limp on one leg, a limp on both legs, a handicap with no hands, blind person, a dumb man, a helpless old man, a helpless old woman, a diseased person and many more!
6. Traffic Sales men – These people sell small items like – sun glasses, soft toys, regular toys, wiping cloth for cars/bikes, magazines, garbage bags, pajama supporters etc.
7. Out-of-towners – These people have supposedly lost their way into the city and now need money to get out. Mind you, they are not beggars. They are smart people who observe the dumbest ones at a traffic signal and approach them.
8. Mobile snatchers – Organized and meticulous in their approach in snatching cell phones from the unsuspecting owners.

OTHERS:
1. Polythene bags – Very common.
2. Crushed water bottles – Someone’s reminiscence of thirst.
3. Abandoned slipper – Either someone lost it in a struggle to get into the bus or it fell from a hanging commuter or it was abandoned for a sole purpose.
4. Carpet – Belongs to a nearby shop. It was washed and put on the road to dry. Its presence is temporary.
5. Crushed fruits – Sometimes the fruit cart fellow runs across the road and in the process drops a few. Sometimes these are the rotten ones dumped on the road.
6. Paan stain – People chew on paan and their mouth gets salivated with a reddish appearance. They end up spitting the red thingy. It gets mistaken for blood.
7. Poop – All variety available; from pudding of the Moo to the pie of the Meow!
8. Puke – A living proof of how much people are affected with traveling sickness.
9. Water – A leaky drain pipe or a water supply pipe spilling water all over the roads. No excuse during rainy season.
10. Pot holes – These look like craters on mars. Some are man made and a few are natural.
11. Cables – These are fallen cables from the over head lines.
12. Crushed Glass – A good example of a rash driving experience.
13. Corpses – Once living, these animals (not humans) reached the end of the circle of life; either natural or forced by an errant driver.
14. Uneven Bump - An indication of something underneath.
15. Ridiculous Bump - These are high enough to touch the underneath of your vehicle. Don't even think of driving your priced car over this one.
16. Brick/Rock - Either dropped from somewhere or someone put it there to test your driving skill. It is a special test case.

I still might be quite incomplete here. Do pitch in if there is anything you know of.

;-))

a thin line... (continued)

2006-07-21T14:20:00.000+10:00

I got some really nice comments and it would be unfair if I don't put them together... so here's it the continuation contributed by all of you!!

a thin line seperates sanity and insanity

a thin line seperates belief and insanity
a thin line seperates wisdom and naivity
a thin line seperates reality and dreamz

a thin line seperates bombs and tombs

a thin line seperates smart and dumb
a thin line seperates happy and sad
a thin line seperates love and hate
a thin line seperates thought and reality

a thin line seperates joke and sarcasm
a thin line seperates friend and foe
a thin line seperates smart and oversmart
a thin line seperates fool and illiterate

a thin line between fate and destiny

Thank you all ;-))

A weekend after a long week!!!

2006-07-21T13:50:00.000+10:00

This week went past in a whiz. I remember writing a blog on Monday and then my blogging freedom was taken away by the government. They had their own reasons of fighting terrorism. I think they found this to be an easy accomplishment to show it to the world. I don’t want to go there and show my disgust anyways!

The remaining week was supposed to be a good training session. But just one and half days into the training, I realized it was a waste. I was joined by my colleagues and we managed to stall the training immediately. The training manager wanted to setup a new trainer to finish the training with a stretch into the weekend. I told them a big ‘NO’ and managed to reschedule it.

It was difficult to switch back into work again and then when I did get into my workspace, tons of it was waiting like after dark monsters! And by the time I got over them I realized, “Hey!!! Weekend is here. Thank God it’s Friday!!”

But then again, weekend is not cozy. My folks are coming to town and so I will have to spend some time with them. I have to meet my sister and her cute kid. I missed out my music class last week, so have to make up for it. I have a doctor’s appointment on Sunday. And not to mention the grocery shopping!!!

On second thoughts, “Aarrrgggg!!!”.

Have a great weekend folks!!

Moo Moo... Excuse Moi!!!

2006-07-17T18:05:00.000+10:00

The delicate vicissitudes of life tied up with the ever changing expectations is what keeps the people to move on. The theory of chaos is far more rudimentary considering the minds, brimful of thoughts and a traffic that is thicker than a fog. And in between the traffic is a character that is oblivious to its surroundings. People move on but it moos when poked upon. You leave it aside and you will be doing a favor to a million people on their road of life.

A Taurus amidst wheels is more than a common sight in this place. Sometimes they are sitting and communicating telepathically with each other and more often standing and wondering when the next step in life is going to be. They don’t seem to care for anyone, not even the beings of their own species. And their objective, it is as lost as a blind man in a ladies bar.

Once, I took a couple of my friends, from seven seas across, on a tour of the city. They were more than surprised to see these creatures in a place that should have been dominated by human beings. One of them was so excited that she told me that such a sight in their county would come direct live on national television. I pacified by telling her that in this country there are much more serious matters to discuss than a couple udders in the day of the light. Her excitement didn’t die by that explanation and at the next available opportunity, got out of the car and took some snaps of the divine animals. She took of one sitting and munching on the remains of the day or possibly night. And of another, that was standing on a road median and thinking on the next miracle in life. After the photography session, she asked me as to who owns them. I told her they all belong to God and here’s the perfect example that we all are the creation of the supreme Master. In fact to prove my point I took her to a temple of the great Bull and she was lost in words. I was busy trying to remove the dung from my new Nike shoes!

These creatures are a blessing in disguise at times. Once at a particular road, where the government forgot to build dividers, the four legged couches came and made it their lazy living room. The traffic had no option but to divide and follow imaginary lanes. I am sure the traffic police would have had a day off for themselves.

Some say it rains cats and dogs. I don’t quite agree. In this place, it rains cows and bulls. Just try a simple experiment. Count the number of udders when it is bright and sunny. After a good rain, repeat the same experiment. Your count will not be less than the previous one. If it is less, I am sure you must have been a really horrible student in math. So go back and check your basics!

Of course when they spend their lifetimes on the roads and neighborhoods, it is implicit that they also leave their behind. Some people use it as bio-fuel. Others walk on then and curse their lucks, but few avoid it only to realize that it is not an easy mess. I remember an incident at a traffic signal that showed its not always a mess. Among the cars, bikes, scooters, cycles, pedestrians and buses, there was a lost soul chewing on some extra terrestrial. The bull was standing next to a brand new blue Ford Ikon. The driver was having a good view of its rear and was trying his best to avoid the glimpse. Just a few seconds before the green, a tail went up in mid air and in came a blessing onto his wind shield. The driver had no option but to say something about the family members of the bull. And in reply the bull mooed and moved onto the next road which was seemingly empty. Some said his car was blessed. Probably, the driver didn’t realize the value of such a blessing.

In a dark night when the stolen street light doesn’t work, it is a disaster to drive among these pillars of blessings. Even if you hit one, there is no guarantee that you will miss the next one. Once a Sardar, who was running a hotel near our hostel had a tail to tell everyone during lunch. It was about one dark rainy night when he decided to close his business and retire home, around couple of kilometers away. He covered himself in his prehistoric rain coat and started off on his only scooter, which was a curse to the modern automobile industry. The head light had passed away long before he got married and ever since, he never bothered to replace it. He believed he had night vision. As he was driving at the maximum possible speed to reach his destination a lightning struck at the nearby fields and he felt a shudder on his body. When realization dawned he was on the road along with his scooter, both trying to catch a shooting star on the rainy night. He didn’t fall off intentionally. It was a cow which was mooing away in the night, probably laughing at the practical joke that was just played. His scooter saw a brand new head light the very next day. The holy being indeed showed him the path of light.

In those minds of myriad thoughts, don’t ever keep a thought that these creatures are a curse or a nuisance. Think positive and see what they are trying to teach us. It is either a valuable lesson or probably an intangible blessing that is always ignored. And I didn’t mean to offend any of their strong fan following. If I did, please excuse mua!

a thin line...

2006-07-13T17:09:00.000+10:00

a thin line separates infatuation and love
a thin line separates pride and ego
a thin line separates jealousy and insecurity
a thin line separates pain and pleasure
a thin line separates sex and lust
a thin line separates indulgence and addiction
a thin line separates confidence and defeat
a thin line separates seeing and believing
a thin line separates thinness and line...

Grrrrr!!!

2006-07-12T18:07:00.000+10:00

Today morning, I was on my way to work and neared a cross road. The traffic signal had just turned red. I saw an old man walking towards the other side of the road on the zebra crossing. Midway, he walked back for some unknown reason!!

As soon as the signal turned green, the old man was back and this time, he ran across as the vehicles started to move!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Grand Finale!

2006-07-10T14:21:00.000+10:00

It was a dramatic final between Italy and France for FIFA world cup 2006. The recipe was packaged very neatly.

Starring:

- An experience rich French team
- A high moral and agile Italian team
- A bunch of good referees
- A highly expectant spectators
- A dash of Shakira for closing ceremony (guest appearance)

Plot:
1. Charge up the spectators with a dash of Shakira and her hips don't lie at all.
2. Start the first scene with a boring show of attempts by French & Italian teams.
3. Add a penalty for the France in the 7th minute and make the French look heavier.
4. Equalize the sides with an Italian goal in the 19th minute.
5. Randomize a bunch of seemingly painful injuries. This is to increase the “boos” from the crowd.
6. A couple of yellow cards would be necessary.
7. Increase the adrenalin of the teams to make them run for survival.
8. Pull the game into extra time.
9. Climax it with a Zidane head butt into Materazzi followed by a red card to a blemishing end of Zidane's career.
10. End it with a penalty shoot out where Italy breaks the curse on them of always loosing in a penalty shootout.

L'estremità

:-))

Favourite Romantic Lines from the Movies

2006-07-07T18:17:00.000+10:00

A few which I adore forever:

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it."-- Seth (Nicolas Cage), City Of Angels.

"…I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and…how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me."-- Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson), As Good As It Gets.

"…You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you."-- Hawkeye (Daniel Day-Lewis), The Last of the Mohicans.

"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."-- Harry Burns (Billy Crystal), When Harry Met Sally.

"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."-- Rhett Butler (Clark Gable), Gone With The Wind.

"We'll always have Paris."-- Rick Blaine, Casablanca.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."-- Oliver Barrett, Love Story.

"You... complete me."-- Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise), Jerry Maguire.

An Ode to My Love

2006-07-07T18:00:00.000+10:00

She saw me on a cloudy day,
My Sun and Star were always melting sorrow.
She came by my side,
A stranger in an unknown world.
She took my hand and looked into my eyes
There was so much love that I could not comprehend.
Words choked on me for everything
She closed my lips and kissed me forever.

I was filled with zeal so strong,
Love was no longer a promise.
For every pain she felt,
I did a complete of whatever I could.
In every harried storm that came,
She never had to search for my hands.

For a woman who is more than me,
There are wordless emotions for her.
All lifetimes together are far too less,
To love her completely.
Even every rose on every minute,
Is too less to say thank you.
She is for the only woman,
For whom my love is forever!

Unbending Wise Men

2006-07-06T14:59:00.000+10:00

Its true with age, men gain wisdom, wine and wealth. Also, along with it comes the associated pride.

Normally, the wise men tend to be compacted around what they know and make people go around the center of their focus. Any deviation is either snubbed for the lack of experience or the choices are deemed unforeseeable. It is mostly proofed by past experiences and learning by them. But, can a past experience be always justified with an apprehensive future? Can the knowledge of the wise men limit us from exploring the horizon? After all, no one can ever explore every dust on the horizon. There can be countless options and opportunities which the wise men could have missed.

The defeat of the wise men is not looked upon as victory. Rather it is judged more often and the consequences are scrutinized for the smallest flaw. Even on proof, the wise men never acknowledge the success on any new un-comprehended path.

What is Booby?

2006-07-05T17:53:00.000+10:00

The term "booby" is such a misnomer. In fact, if you are passing by and happen to use the sentence, “what a beautiful booby”, you will probably be marinated in her scorn and shoes. Unless, apart from a lame excuse, she shares the same interest as you in Ornithology (a.k.a bird watching).

Basically booby is a bird. In fact, boobies are a group of seabirds closely related to gannets. These are large birds with long pointed wings and long bills. They hunt fish by diving from a height into the sea and pursuing their prey underwater. They have facial air sacs under their skin which cushion the impact with the water.

The first picture is that of a red feet booby. It is characterized by the red feet it has. And the second picture is that of a baby booby. The boobies are colonial breeders, which lay one or more chalky blue eggs on the ground or sometimes on tree nests. Their name is possibly based on the Spanish slang term bubi, meaning "dunce", as these tame birds had a habit of landing on board sailing ships where they were easily captured and eaten.

Another booby term on usage refers to a foolish person. Thats where the term booby-trap was coined. So a booby trap is not from the fact that in olden times, king's armies used women to show their boobies to distract and trap enemy soldiers and spies.

Thus to conclude, next time don't be afraid to use the term booby in your regular expression. But please, do ensure that the person on the other side is not uneducated about the literal expression of the term, "booby"!!

:-))

Some funny facts!!!

2006-07-04T14:39:00.000+10:00

These are real and funny!!

- A cow farts about 600 liters of methane gas every day. That is enough to fill up to 40 party balloons.

- If you fart constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. Effort does pay in the end!!!

- Most snakes have over 200 teeth. Keep them away from dental insurances!

- The Albatross has a wing span of up to 14 feet and needs only to land once every couple of years to breed.

- Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day. Don’t even think about it!

- It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

- It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Try it!!!

- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. :-))

- People who chase after rare birds are called twitchers.

- A goldfish memory is three seconds.

- The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2 200 people.

- Sharks never get sick, they are immune to all known diseases.

- Your foot and your forearm, (from your wrist to the inside of your elbow), are the same length.

- The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side.

- A man named Charles Osborne had hiccups for 69 years.

- Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

- Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

- The only animal, apart from a human, that can get a sunburn is a pig.

- It is anatomically impossible for humans to lick their own elbow.

- Men and Women fart about 14 times each day!! Hmmm… never realized that!

Have a nice day!

Ass in the Law!

2006-06-29T13:14:00.000+10:00

A donkey made headlines here in one of the Indian Cities. Apparently, it was part of an NGO demonstration against the state revenue department for its delay in issuing certain land related papers. A placard with the writing ‘District Administration’ was hung from the neck of the donkey.

Although the NGO had obtained police permission to agitate, a revenue department official took exception to the writing on the placard and filed a complaint with the police. The police arrested 30 protesters and confiscated loudspeakers and the donkey.

The donkey along with the protesters were kept in police custody and produced before the magistrate the next day as evidence. It was let go only after the formalities were done. The donkey didn’t object much, but the police had a tough time taking the donkey to the court. They tried to put it into the police van, but failed. They even lured it for a ride in the local cab, but even then the donkey was reluctant. Finally, they had to hire a open mini van.

So, the law is pretty stringent in matters of an ass. Keep it safe!

What would you do for Love?

2006-06-28T17:58:00.000+10:00

There are so many promises which guys (especially) and gals make for the name of love. Some promise to wipe every tear, but a month later, they cause all the tears.

Some resolve to confide in everything and be true self; next instant he’s checking out the hot chick in micro minis!

Few abstain from all bad habits but slowly convince the other half to join.

Most swear to love forever… yawn!!!

Think Meatloaf should have sang, “I won’t do anything for love, but I will do that”. And that is to remain who you are in love, which rarely anyone does.

So what would you do for love?

What gives you Happiness?

2006-06-27T13:30:00.000+10:00

A simple question.. what gives you happiness? Is it love, money, pride, success, satisfation or nothing?

Have heard a few people say... "nothing gives me happiness". And someone had explained that if nothing can give something, then nothing has to be something.

Love - Yeah it gives comfort, security & peace. And happiness.. Definitly

Money - Monetary is momentary and so happiness is temporary.

Pride - At the top of the hill, there is place for only one to be proud. Can lonliness give happiness?

Success - The joy of not being a failure is a clear justification of a looser. How can success give happiness?

Satisfaction - Possibly?

So what gives you happiness?

Near Closedown...

2006-06-26T12:52:00.000+10:00

Yeah, it was close. A weekend that I thought would be the end of all and everything. It was close and very near to be the last chapter of my meaningful life.

Sometimes, it’s only near the end that we realize the importance of so many things in life. You appreciate all the things that life has given you and the importance of each. Strange but true that all our lives we are so ignorant of everything around us. Every person, thing or feeling we anticipate or expect is taken for granted. We feel every part of our life as granted as the eternal life of the Sun & Moon. But never do we thing beyond and speculate… what if any of those went missing? Especially, the important people in our lives.

Hope none of us have to loose our precious things of life. Hope we can always cling onto those who make us comfortable! But then, the future is based on a mere flickering hope! Never know when the winds of fate would extinguish that dancing flame of life!

It Hurts...

2006-06-23T19:43:00.000+10:00

As I write this blog, I am sure there must be babies born all over the world. And they are all coming out innocently out of their mother’s warmth into a cold world full of deceit, pain and evil. The luckier ones would be having families too love them and look over them. The unluckier ones; Well, it pains to see what they have to undergo for no fault of theirs.

On my day to day work, I have seen so many of them playing on the street. Some of them learn to crawl and take their first steps. No photographs or parties to celebrate them. God, it hurts to see some of the realities in life!

Dunno where we are headed? How numb can we ever become? Can we live being heatless always?

Waking up Sleeping Beauty...

2006-06-22T17:52:00.000+10:00

After the hardest battle of my life, I reached the place which had the serenity of my longing. And there she was, lying mesmerized by the curse from the one who was trying to bless. Even with the warmest restraint I couldn’t help but kiss her on those rosy lips. For a momentary lapse of reason, I felt the numbness of her lips on mine until the heart of hearts opened up between us. A strange connection and she reciprocated for a future which looked beautiful. The sleeping beauty woke up and she was mine forever!

That’s where the story ends and the reality begins…

Sleeping beauty is not very cheap. She comes with a price which I am paying from my royal treasure. Sometime my father, the old king, complains of my bad choice. His usual statement, “All you had to do was to climb up that bloody tower and run first base with her!”

Since she had been sleeping since childhood, she doesn’t know how to read or write. And hence she cannot be a part of my family to support financially. She is no help to the royal business. Her home skills are horrible and she never made an attempt to learn them. Yeah, I have cooks but then I would love to cook with my partner sometimes. The last time we tried, I ended up changing the wallpaper, twice. And I had to replace most of the vessels. It wasn’t even charitable! Who wants burnt up royal vessels? This is the twenty first century!

Sleeping beauty cannot conceive because her body has been in a state of coma for those many years. So parenthood is also deprived off me. I am thinking of adoption. But my royal blood might get adulterated. So I am contemplating between a second marriage and divorce. Again, I made a huge mistake of making the kiss as the prenuptial agreement. My lawyer says, “If you divorce her, she is entitled to half the kingdom. And there is no way you can work around that. Better work around your marriage”. I can’t image illicit affairs, because half the world knows who I am. People swear on that kiss! Damn you!

She’s a bad judge of people. She has so many so called friends through online and offline. I was shocked to see her friends list on “myspace.com”. And these friends give her all sorts of advices to make life beautiful. Some of the suggestions she implemented: tattoo on her back, a plastic surgery on the likes of P Anderson, nose & chin job cannot be excluded, piercing on her tongue, colorful contacts, and appearances on the red carpet and not to mention an attempt to release a home video. I managed to intervene on the last one.

The love we developed on that tower was lost somewhere between oblivion and the royal heritage. Her royal comfort zone formed an easy ticket to enjoy life to the fullest. And here I am, the savior sitting in a corner and typing this blog. She even took my new Viao! Got to go now! She’s back from the private screening of Da Vinci Code. I better check up on those tickets to Paris, coz that would her obvious next demand!

Sleepy Blog!

2006-06-21T13:27:00.000+10:00

I guess one of the best things about life is sleep. The rest process on a relaxed mind and body does wonders. And add to it on a chilly morning, when you have to work, all the excuses become inventions of a clouded mind! Today I had a tough time throwing myself out of bed. The warm of the quilt was irresistible, but then life had to move on.

I pondered on some facts of sleep and so here are some to amuse you:

- Some people can take cat naps with their eyes open.

- A new baby typically results in 400-750 hours lost sleep for parents in the first year. Parenting is not easy.

- One of the best predictors of insomnia later in life is the development of bad habits from having sleep disturbed by young children. Now I am really thinking of parenthood.

- The continuous brain recordings that led to the discovery of REM (rapid eye-movement) sleep were not done until 1953, partly because the scientists involved were concerned about wasting paper.

- Elephants sleep standing up during non-REM sleep, but lie down for REM sleep.

- Scientists have not been able to explain a 1998 study showing a bright light shone on the backs of human knees can reset the brain's sleep-wake clock.

- British Ministry of Defense researchers have been able to reset soldiers' body clocks so they can go without sleep for up to 36 hrs. Tiny optical fibers embedded in special spectacles project a ring of bright white light (with a spectrum identical to a sunrise) around the edge of soldiers' retinas, fooling them into thinking they have just woken up. The system was first used on US pilots during the bombing of Kosovo.

- The 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill off Alaska, the Challenger space shuttle disaster and the Chernobyl nuclear accident have all been attributed to human errors in which sleep-deprivation played a role.

- Exposure to noise at night can suppress immune function even if the sleeper doesn’t wake. Unfamiliar noise, and noise during the first and last two hours of sleep, has the greatest disruptive effect on the sleep cycle.

- Tiny luminous rays from a digital alarm clock can be enough to disrupt the sleep cycle even if you do not fully wake. The light turns off a "neural switch" in the brain, causing levels of a key sleep chemical to decline within minutes.

- To drop off we must cool off; body temperature and the brain's sleep-wake cycle are closely linked. That's why hot summer nights can cause a restless sleep. The blood flow mechanism that transfers core body heat to the skin works best between 18 and 30 degrees. But later in life, the comfort zone shrinks to between 23 and 25 degrees - one reason why older people have more sleep disorders.

- Ducks at risk of attack by predators are able to balance the need for sleep and survival, keeping one half of the brain awake while the other slips into sleep mode.

- Teenagers need as much sleep as small children (about 10 hrs) while those over 65 need the least of all (about six hours). For the average adult aged 25-55, eight hours is considered optimal

- Experts say one of the most alluring sleep distractions is the 24-hour accessibility of the internet.

- The extra-hour of sleep received when clocks are put back at the start of daylight in Canada has been found to coincide with a fall in the number of road accidents.

So, snuggle under your quilt and sleep tight. And yes, sweet dreams too!!

IELTS Weekend!

2006-06-19T14:52:00.000+10:00

Another eventful weekend for me to remember. It was time for me to get over with the IELTS exams. In fact, I got a surprise email from IELTS center that they would be conducting my speaking test on Friday. And Saturday was the day of the writing test. So it was a pretty close.

The speaking test reporting time was 8:45am for me in a nearby hotel. I reached there about half an hour and saw some of people already biting their nails off! It was quite a sight to see and remember my old college days! Anyways, after waiting for about 45 minutes, I got called into a room with an aged lady quizzing my conversation capabilities. It was a nice experience and the lady was really sweet in asking questions. She made it look like a good conversation rather than a test. It went pretty good and I do hope to get a good score there!

Then on Saturday it was the written test for IELTS - listening, reading & essay writing. The registration was supposed to be between 11:15am & 12:15pm. So I left home early trying to avoid the congested weekend traffic. But strangely, I reached there by 10:15am, about an hour in advance. And thankfully, they had started registration. Again, I saw the usual finger biting people earlier than me. They were also doing some last minute preparation; kind of felt nervous for sometime. The registration got over in ten minutes and I had almost two hours to kill. It was the worst waiting time ever for me. I felt sleepy, irritated, happy, nervous - every emotion was tested out!

By 12:15pm, they opened the door to the main hall where the test was to be conducted. It was a huge hall and I was quite impressed by the chandeliers and lighting, more than the test. Also, thankfully, they provided individual headphones. I had the initial impression that it would be mostly a common speaker for the 150 odd people taking the test. So, I entered the hall with my last bio-break; the promise was that I would never have to visit the men's room till 4:00pm when the test gets over! It was a bigger commitment than marriage!

After the formal announcements, instructions and basic dry testing, the time had come for the test to begin. It was an eerie feeling actually, to be sitting among the 150 pupils of english and pretend to be confident. Inside, there were two thoughts killing me: will I do well in the test and what if my bladder fills up before 4:00pm? Hunger was the third contemplation on my head. I oscillated between the two and then, like a zolt of lightning, I saw the empty answer sheet reach my desk.

By the time I filled up my information on the answer sheet, the listening paper was distribute. d out. And in no time the live CD was playing for the listening sheet. I started to focus on the conversations and in between got lost two. There was a goof up on a few questions and I cursed myself for being ignorant!! Anyhow, managed to finish all the questions in time and transferred them onto the answer sheets with minimal mistakes. It is one of those times when I cannot trust myself and I always feel apprehensive of any errors I could have made.

The examiners took back the question papers and started distributing the reading tests. And once again the race against time began. This time I had to keep an eye on the time. One examiner did some trick and connected a flashing timer on the main screen in the hall. It was good for me to track the time and I got engrossed. After two and a half sections I glanced for the time and the dude had taken back his idea. The flashy timer was gone! Panic button pressed on my and I disregarded it. I looked at another clock in the room to keep up with the pace. Thankfully I finished just on time. Some people were still writing and the examiners literally snatched the papers away from them.

The last essay writing test was on. My hope for one more hour was good enough. The earlier two thoughts were not reality as yet. And I knew I could survive for an hour without food, water or the men's room. In fact, before I could realize, I was done with the writing test too. The topics were simple and I could gather points on them pretty easily. I was not quite sure on how the person who would correct my essay be judgmental. Anyways, I had a long day and I wanted to leave the place at the earliest. But then, the day was not quite over.

The test organizers had some more tasks for all of us. I had to sign some sort of acknowledgment ensure that my registration details were really correct. Adding to that the organizers had forgotten to take the signature of the people in the room at the time of registration. So it was back to elementary school. They called out names and each person had to sign another paper and then leave. It was disgusting on how the organizers had done their job. By the time I got out, it was 4:45pm.

I fought a small battle to squeeze weekend party traffic to reach home and crash!!! whew!! It was over finally!!!

Cold weekend

2006-06-12T13:32:00.000+10:00

I had a very bad weekend. The damn curse of a bunch of rhinovirus came on me Saturday evening. It was too engrossing to be partying with them and sneezing all over the place. And they ensured that my nose kept flowing for the next two days!!

Even in this era, there is no cure for the common cold. And sometimes when it hits bad, there is no option but to rest and wait for a miracle!

I couldn’t do much, but I found some interesting figures on a common cold:

1. Chicken soup combats common cold in a much better way.

2. Vitamin C doesn’t prevent or help cure common cold

3. There are around 200 or more viruses that cause common cold.

4. A common cold sneeze can exceed speed of 100mph. So don’t ever try to sneeze in space, you will obey the third law of motion and go the other way!

5. A cough can release an explosive charge of air at the speed of up to 60mph.

6. And last but not least, doctors recommend, try not to catch a cold.

So there’s nothing much I can do but to wait and recover. And for you everyone else, please try not to catch a cold!!!

Murderous Vibes

2006-06-09T13:42:00.000+10:00

So what does it take to incite murderous intentions in person who is otherwise very very sane? Well, my guess is, it must be constant spiral intake of indigestible crap which goes on day in and day out!

The center head in the company I work for is a similar character. It is an undefined wonder that such people make it to the top of the corporate ladder. Someday, I really want to discover this secret and unfold another mystery. Anyway, that’s another thing. So, this guy was supposedly into teaching. He was some professor in some corner of the states. And one fine day he decided to jump into the industry and somehow made it to the high peg of this place. Overall his industry experience is less than even my immediate boss. In fact my boss is twice in terms of industry experience.

Now, the problem with this center head is that he is so bloody showy! His English is that of a professor; the ones whose lectures are always boring till death takes thou aside. His use of words and vocabulary is so immensely horrendous that it does change the meaning of the whole sentence. Once he even commented on my project. His use of the word ‘crank’ came at a very inappropriate place to make my project look like a disaster. I missed having a gun in my hand at that time!

The other day there was some big meeting and this guy is talking about something so very irrelevant. And then he talks about some old movie he saw in the flight. Two impressive tryouts on the term “flight” and “movie” was thrown around. Yeah, if I was a clueless teenage girl I would have gone gaga over him! But on the present reality, I was searching for something to throw at him. Damn! They keep conference rooms so clean now days!

And then there was once when a talk was on to cut down expenses. So it was being decided that all flight bookings for more than eight hour of travel should be made economy class opposed to the existing business class. It was rudely argued against by the management. But he was adamant. He even proclaimed that he doesn’t want to travel by business class anymore. And after the meeting, he went to the travel desk and quickly booked a business class seat for his next trip. The travel lady came to me asking for a gun! Wish I could help her!!!

Even his boss never seems to have a problem. I really wonder what the deal is between them. What favors they have for each other?? Oh wait, Brokeback Mountan?? naa!!

So everyday is a control by many people to go to the prison or become a fugitive. But I am pretty sure; someday someone will liberate all of us from the slavery of patience!

Deprecated compassion

2006-06-08T15:12:00.000+10:00

It is a notion of unprecedented proportions that we are advancing and growing in so many ways. And its another of shame that we are loosing out the basic touch of humanism that we were born with.

In a city where every day influx of people and money are in increasing continuum, there is no room for most of the people to check on who is nearby. The expectation of being considerate in dire straits is a misjudgment of the basic rules of life and survival.

It was disheartening to read the story about a girl who died on the road after being hit by misfortune. She was on her way to work; the irony being that it was her first day at her first job. Her cycle was thrown away and she bled to death on the same road which was full of denizens of a place which has a seemingly good facade. Even the law keepers turned a sore eye to the whole incident. None of the cabbies were willing to do a favor of taking her to the nearest hospital.

After a long time, when the hands of death had almost engulfed her, some people tried to help. In this city, help for the needy comes the last. And she died en-route to the hospital.

It shows the level of compassion this city carries for the people. It even shows where we are all headed into the next century. High technology and the greatest level of sophistication is taught in the best schools. And when the same pupils hit the roads of life, they all loose out on two very important aspects of which they are – compassion and humanism.

Armageddon is just a throw away but help is right next door. Someone just needs to open it.